Joke thread
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Phil Pascoe
Established Member
Latin.
Civile si ergo
forte osses in ero
gnosses mari
thebe trux
vatis inem causan dux.
Perfect pronunciation, nonsensical words.
This is basque.
"
Si senora derdeygo, fortez lorez inarow
Demaint lorez, derar trux
Fulof ensa cowsan dux. "
But as you say, word salad. Might be incorrectly spelt
stuart little
Established Member
It must be about 50 yrs since I first saw it. But why can't I remember something i heard 2 days ago?
smiles2life
New member
I was telling that at primary school - 60 years ago!
and it was my grandad told it to me!!
Jameshow
Established Member
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be £6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be £12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress.
"That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be £6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be £12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress.
"That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
stuart little
Established Member
Give her one & tell her the rest will grow on her.Depends on how many are left!!!!!
J-G
Established Member
More like 70 years for me. Even though there are three errors
'Fortez' should be 'forte',
'derar' > 'demar'
and
'ensa' > 'ensan'
- then it makes proper sense.
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
No need for crudity.Give her one & tell her the rest will grow on her.
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Phil Pascoe
Established Member
Take your wife. Leave the bikes for friday nights.Today is the day we take out the one we love the most!
Question is which bike do I take!
Trainee neophyte
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flying haggis
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SamG340
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