Joke thread

[user 38384]

 

[user 38384]

 

[dzj]

 

[DrPhill]

In the index of a book on programming there were two definitions:
Circular definition: see definition, circular
and
Definition, circular: see circular definition.
Those were the only mentions of those terms in the book.

 

[Just4Fun]

Similar to the definition of recursion which said "see recursion".

 

[Zedgeezer]

I rarely watch films - who is Luke Skywalker?

Man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, the barman says "What's beer?"
Man says " You should go on ukworkshop.co.uk, your brother is always posting on it!

 

[Zedgeezer]

Latin.
Civile si ergo
forte osses in ero
gnosses mari
thebe trux
vatis inem causan dux.

Perfect pronunciation, nonsensical words.

Amo, Amas, Amat, Amamus, Amatis, Amant, I decline to answer this comment! Maybe a certain type of person to bother replying to this?

 

[Keith Cocker]

Amo, Amas, Amat, Amamus, Amatis, Amant, I decline to answer this comment! Maybe a certain type of person to bother replying to this?

i remember one from The Two Ronnies as Germans

F U N E X
S V F D X

 

[Phil Pascoe]

I remember at twelve a lad asking the English master what "obnoxious" meant. Obnoxious is what you are, Williams.

 

[Blackswanwood]

For the past 20 years I've received a Valentines card from the same secret admirer. So I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year. First my granny dies and now this.

 

[niall Y]

Surprised no one has resurrected this one.... so here goes -

Caesar adsum iam forte
Pompey aderat
Caesar sic in omnibus
Pompey sic in at

 

[woodhutt]

similar to

Caesar ad aderat forte
Brutus adsum jam
Caesar sic in omnibus
Brutus sic in tram

 

[Lefley]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

That one was done a few pages ago.

 

[treeturner123]

So the odds of two jokes saying the same thing are now quite high!!

Phil

 

[Lefley]

That one was done a few pages ago.

Thanks for pointing that out. I don’t have time to read 118 pages of jokes ( I wish I did) before I post. So I quess the easy solution is not to post.

 

[Yorkieguy]

Don't do that - it's worth repeating and the old 'uns are the best anyway.

A golfer and his wife were together with another golfer chum and his wife. The two guys were talking about golf as always, the wives were taking about other matters. One golfer remarked to his chum that 'he'd derive greater pleasure from getting a hole in one that from having fantastic orgasmic sex with his wife'. His wife, in overhearing the remark said 'the odds of either happening were about the same'.

See.

I heard that in the school playground back in 1953 when I was 14 and I still think it's funny.

 

[Jameshow]

Don't do that - it's worth repeating and the old 'uns are the best anyway.

A golfer and his wife were together with another golfer chum and his wife. The two guys were talking about golf as always, the wives were taking about other matters. One golfer remarked to his chum that 'he'd derive greater pleasure from getting a hole in one that from having fantastic orgasmic sex with his wife'. His wife, in overhearing the remark said 'the odds of either happening were about the same'.

See.

I heard that in the school playground back in 1953 when I was 14 and I still think it's funny.

I played a round of golf last week with my buddy and a funeral procession went by, I had to stop and pay my dues before sinking he next hole...My... your so thoughtful he said....

Not at all I replied we were married for 38yrs....!

The oldies are best!!

 

[mikej460]

Amo, Amas, Amat, Amamus, Amatis, Amant, I decline to answer this comment! Maybe a certain type of person to bother replying to this?

And in the words of that other fine lyricist, John Lennon:

“Amo, amas, amat,
A monk, a mink, a minibus”

 

[Thingybob]

That one was done a few pages ago.

Bit like warching Mock the week on Dave