stuart little
Established Member
SAUSAGES!
Joke Thread 5
- Thread starter Noel
- Start date
Help Support UKworkshop.co.uk:
stuart little
Established Member
Reminds me of that dog with Esther Rantzen et al.
Doug B
Shy Tot
flying haggis
Established Member
"Tis what the plans say"......
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
Yorkieguy
Established Member
Yorkieguy
Established Member
stuart little
Established Member
I'm glad to say;- "I don't need nor want an 'ifone'
selectortone
Still waking up not dead in the morning
Call me a cynic, and I may be way off base here, but I'm starting to get the faintest suspicion that Yorkieguy isn't 100% behind our new Labour overlords. 
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
Can you find anyone who is? I can't.
selectortone
Still waking up not dead in the morning
Really? I'd never have thought...Can you find anyone who is? I can't.
Howsaboutwestartajoke thread?
I don't know if this is appropriate for the thread as it is true, but Uncle Fred told me this on my first visit in uniform after I joined the navy, guess he thought I was old enough to hear it...it's prompted by seeing a YouTube on glass fluorescent H.V. sign making.
He finished his time working as a servant at Dartmouth Naval College after an interesting life, RN during the war, fishing, boatman etc. and claimed to have driven the first internal-engine driven fire engine in Dartmouth. Anyway, he told me that he earned a little beer money one summer, sitting on a beer crate opposite the cinema in Victoria Road, 'O' watching!
When I asked what that entailed he smiled, Auntie Bess went red and left the room as he explained "They were showing the 'Count of Monte Christo' and my job was to watch the electric sign over the doors and to rush in and tell the manager if one of the 'o's went out..."
He finished his time working as a servant at Dartmouth Naval College after an interesting life, RN during the war, fishing, boatman etc. and claimed to have driven the first internal-engine driven fire engine in Dartmouth. Anyway, he told me that he earned a little beer money one summer, sitting on a beer crate opposite the cinema in Victoria Road, 'O' watching!
When I asked what that entailed he smiled, Auntie Bess went red and left the room as he explained "They were showing the 'Count of Monte Christo' and my job was to watch the electric sign over the doors and to rush in and tell the manager if one of the 'o's went out..."
Doug B
Shy Tot
Jaco
Established Member
An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.He put a sign up outside that said:
"Dr. Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."
Mr "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine,
thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.
Mr Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ??"
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Mr Young: " Aaagh !! this is petrol!”
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
Mr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Mr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Mr Young: "Oh, no you don't, that is petrol!”
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back.
That will be $500.”
Mr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Mr Young: "My eyesight has become weak ---I can hardly see anything!!!!
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)
Mr Young: "But this is only $10!
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! ; that will be $500.”
Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer".
Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off.
"Dr. Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."
Mr "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine,
thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.
Mr Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ??"
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Mr Young: " Aaagh !! this is petrol!”
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
Mr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Mr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Mr Young: "Oh, no you don't, that is petrol!”
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back.
That will be $500.”
Mr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Mr Young: "My eyesight has become weak ---I can hardly see anything!!!!
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)
Mr Young: "But this is only $10!
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! ; that will be $500.”
Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer".
Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off.
Doug B
Shy Tot
Similar threads
