Joke Thread 5

[Noel]

After 215 pages of mostly humour time for a fresh thread.

Please keep in mind:

Please ensure contributions do not contain risqué innuendo or images that might offend, remember and be aware that not everyone has the same sense of humour and a joke you may find funny, may cause insult or offence to others.
Our members are from a varied demographic, age and gender, please keep that in mind.

Regarding those that don't get or understand a particular joke (if it is indeed a joke) may I suggest you do one of two things:
Move on
Google is your friend.

Bear in mind if a joke a has to be explained it is no longer..........etc.

 

[Noel]

Fringe winner 2024:

I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it


Mark Simmons.

 

[Ian_B]

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[dzj]

https://www.expats.cz/czech-news/ar...rate-airbaltic-poll-to-give-plane-a-lewd-name

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Robbo3]

 

[Ian_B]

 

[Ian_B]

 

[Chubber]

Little Amelia gets taken to school in the car every day by Grandad because Mummy has to catch an early train to work.

One day Grandad is poorly, so it's arranged for Grandma to take her the following day. Mummy is a little concerned because Granny's driving skills are not too good....

The evening after she asks Amelia "How was your drive to school with Grandma? "

She replied delightedly..

"Oh Mummy! It was lovely! We must have gone a different way, because we didn't meet one t@sser, one nob-head, and..... not even one single f@ckwit!

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[Norman Boyes]

After 215 pages of mostly humour time for a fresh thread.

Please keep in mind:

Please ensure contributions do not contain risqué innuendo or images that might offend, remember and be aware that not everyone has the same sense of humour and a joke you may find funny, may cause insult or offence to others.
Our members are from a varied demographic, age and gender, please keep that in mind.

Regarding those that don't get or understand a particular joke (if it is indeed a joke) may I suggest you do one of two things:
Move on
Google is your friend.

Bear in mind if a joke a has to be explained it is no longer..........etc.

I actually find these guidance notes quite offensive. Just saying.

 

[Ozi]

View attachment 186423

It's all a matter of perspective. Take a vise, a large hammer and a blow torch.

There now you see how much you like the bottle and would not wish any harm to come to it. QED

 

[Ozi]

I actually find these guidance notes quite offensive. Just saying.

It's the aggressive font isn't it