Joke Thread 5

[Phill05]

It's the aggressive font isn't it

I know what you mean, Oh it's so overwhelming it could be funny!!

 

[John Brown]

View attachment 186423

Does that work? I've never tried it with test icicles, obviously, but with hard boiled eggs, the flame has to be in the bottle, so as to burn up the oxygen. A naked flame outside the bottle would surely just heat the air inside, causing it to expand.
I suppose if you waited until the bottle and the enclosed air were warm, then took away the naked flame and placed the orchid on top, some suction might be achieved as the air inside the bottle cooled.

 

[stuart little]

No comment!

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Noel]

I actually find these guidance notes quite offensive. Just saying.

If I can just go OT for a moment......
Hi Norman, appreciate your input. So, how could I make it less offensive? Or indeed not offensive to you at all?
Genuinely curious, look forward to your reply.

 

[Jaco]

A drunken Irishman who smelled of beer sat down in an underground train, next to a priest.The man's tie was stained, his
face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for
your fellow man, Sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned.” Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so
strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

 

[Jaco]

 

[Jaco]

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Amateur]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Cordy]

My small electric car broke down the other day.

I had to call the AAA

 

[Doug B]

 

[Robbo3]

 

[Fergie 307]

Does that work? I've never tried it with test icicles, obviously, but with hard boiled eggs, the flame has to be in the bottle, so as to burn up the oxygen. A naked flame outside the bottle would surely just heat the air inside, causing it to expand.
I suppose if you waited until the bottle and the enclosed air were warm, then took away the naked flame and placed the orchid on top, some suction might be achieved as the air inside the bottle cooled.

You could always try it, and report back with your findings

 

[johnb80]

 

[johnb80]

BMW have announced a recall of 432,000 cars after a driver tried to use the indicator.