Joke thread

[Droogs]

Just to really stir things up, I loved this when it first came out as did the 2 legionaires I did guard duty with.

 

[AES]

View attachment 130604

Now I really WILL take offence - "does a disservice to the Forum" (or something like that!!!!!!

 

[SamG340]

Now I really WILL take offence - "does a disservice to the Forum" (or something like that!!!!!!

Taking offence to things is also very British. You could write a strongly worded letter ?

 

[AES]

@AJB Temple: You wrote, QUOTE: The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American Salute but at a more jaunty angle. UNQUOTE:

Depends entirely on which branch of the British services one served in old bean.

 

[AES]

Taking offence to things is also very British. You could write a strongly worded letter ?

To whom? (he asks, artlessly).

 

[SamG340]

To whom? (he asks, artlessly).

Normally the BBC ?

 

[SamG340]

Normally the BBC ?

Or perhaps your local MP

 

[AES]

Or perhaps your local MP

Haven't got one mate. That's not how "the system" works here, and as I've been off the UK Electoral register for more than X (I think it's 15 years, I forget now, but it's quite a long time anyway) I don't have a UK MP.

 

[SamG340]

Haven't got one mate. That's not how "the system" works here, and as I've been off the UK Electoral register for more than X (I think it's 15 years, I forget now, but it's quite a long time anyway) I don't have a UK MP.

Your local chocolate store?

 

[SamG340]

@AES how did you end up out there anyway ?

 

[AES]

Ah, NOW yer talkin' mate. (But it's late - for an old man like me - AND we're turning the jokes thread into a banter thread, and that too will no doubt "do a disservice to the Forum)

 

[AES]

1. Married a Swiss lady. 2. Got a job with Swissair. Goodnight

 

[Droogs]

1. Married a Swiss lady. 2. Got a job with Swissair. Goodnight

So he got hired by Nestle and makes Aeros

 

[SamG340]

So he got hired by Nestle and makes Aeros

What a ripoff aero's are . Same price as a mars bar but its HALF AIR ... Ripping sods.

It's like the evil bleeders that invented polos

 

[Ozi]

Ah well I'm sure he'll understand I was just joking . He seems to have a good sense of humour ... I see you're from Germany ? I better not make jokes about the war .. or the world cup !!

You can mention the world cup. These foreigners don't understand it's not the winning it's the taking part that counts - unless we win - then it's the winning.

 

[SamG340]

You can mention the world cup. These foreigners don't understand it's not the winning it's the taking part that counts - unless we win - then it's the winning.

It's just like the Scott's, when they loose, they're Scottish , but when they win .. then they're British

 

[niemeyjt]

So he got hired by Nestle and makes Aeros

Nestle is this side of the Rostigraben!

Swissair, before going bust, were in Basel (I was in adjacent building) - and I think their successor was as well - until the French got arsey about borders and offices and tax and things. Never get arsey with the Swiss about taxes - they closed the offices and rescheduled the flights.

 

[TRITON]

This is xenophobic, highly offensive and totally inaccurate. France lost more people in the first year of the first world war than the entirety of the US dead in the whole of the 20th century. 1 in 8 French people were either injured or killed in the 1st world war and despite the horrific death level they didn't surrender. If they hadn't have dug in to defend the British at Dunkirk, the whole British army would have been captured. It's true that the French did surrender to the Germans but despite this, they lost another 600,000 people during the whole of the war which is about 20% more than the British.

Very true, though our original plan was to abandon the french completely and it was only through some choice words we started letting them on the boats with British troops, not as an after thought once all British troops had boarded. Utterly selfish by the Government and high command.
We then sank their navy as a parting gift.

 

[Bm101]

Billy Connolly on the Swiss.
Just for you Aes.

 

[Pedronicus]