Joke thread

[Cozzer]

View attachment 124622

Ain't that the truth.
I've just spent 4 hours with my supposed intelligent 37 year old son who is totally unvaccinated. He kept mentioning the mysterious "they" in the argument we had. "They" want us to do that, "they" are trying to force us to do this....and do you believe everything that you hear on the news?
I tried keeping my temper, listening to the **** he was coming out with, but eventually lost it with him....
He is, I finally advised him, a ******* *****.


Edit -why does the censor on this forum consider the word Id10T to be so offensive, and alter it to "silly person"?!

 

[Linus]

That one lost me

I know, but as we STILL don't have a groan emoji I thought I'd post it.

 

[TRITON]

Edit -why does the censor on this forum consider the word Id10T to be so offensive, and alter it to "silly person"?!

Forums owned by an American group.

I think they're............

Libertarian

 

[Sachakins]

Forums owned by an American group.

I think they're............

Libertarian

Is that another sexual variant??
Or the staff at a Library??
Either are useless

 

[Noel]

Forums owned by an American group.

I think they're............

Libertarian

Nah, id10t has been silly person for years. All depends on the tone of it's use and context.

 

[TRITON]

Nah, id10t has been silly person for years. All depends on the tone of it's use and context.

My context is one of humour

 

[Jameshow]

Nah, id10t has been silly person for years. All depends on the tone of it's use and context.

I think it's more of a willfully foolish or stubborn tone to it.
Wouldn't use it of a genuinely simple person.

Cheers James

 

[paulrbarnard]

Forums owned by an American group.

I think they're............

Libertarian

I would have thought they would stick up for all the words given their job. Oh sorry I thought you said they were librarians.

 

[kinverkid]

 

[Cabinetman]

Strange people those Americans. It’s quite frowned upon here.

 

[dzj]

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 124587

 

[stuart little]

From Simon and Garfunkel.
The sound of silence.

Oh!

 

[Daniel2]

It's a take on the song "The Sound Of Silence",
by Simon and Garfunkel.
...."And the words of the prophets,
Are written on the subway walls"....

Edit; You've already found my previous post.

 

[stuart little]

It's a take on the song "The Sound Of Silence",
by Simon and Garfunkel.
...."And the words of the prophets,
Are written on the subway walls"....

Edit; You've already found my previous post.

Yup, know the words but 'little grey cells' still asleep!

 

[Cozzer]

View attachment 124637

I realise that the image above is a (very clever) joke.

That said, maybe it should equally become one of the most important - and serious - messages out there at present.

Another "slogan" that's doing the rounds?
"If covid is anywhere, covid is everywhere...."

Stay safe.

 

[Garno]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McGregor but my friends call me Paddy ".

 

[AES]

No doubt someone will soon come along with the usual "the old 'uns is the best 'uns" (or similar), but I for one - and several others it looks like - at least got a grin out of it. So thanks for posting mate.

 

[gwaithcoed]

No doubt someone will soon come along with the usual "the old 'uns is the best 'uns" (or similar), but I for one - and several others it looks like - at least got a grin out of it. So thanks for posting mate.

It's only an old one if you've heard it before I hadn't, made me laugh, so yes thanks for posting

Alan

 

[flying haggis]