Joke thread
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Cozzer
Established Member
I bought a thesaurus yesterday. Got it home, opened it, and found that every single page was blank.
I haven't the words to describe how angry I am.....
I haven't the words to describe how angry I am.....
flying haggis
Established Member
Unshameslessly nicked from elsewhere.........
Back in the days of tanners and bobs,
When Mothers had patience and Fathers had jobs.
When football team families wore hand me down shoes,
And T.V gave only two channels to chose.
Back in the days of three penny bits,
when schools employed nurses to search for your nits.
When snowballs were harmless; ice slides were permitted
and all of your jumpers were warm and hand knitted.
Back in the days of hot ginger beers,
when children remained so for more than six years.
When children respected what older folks said,
and pot was a thing you kept under your bed.
Back in the days of Listen with Mother,
when neighbours were friendly and talked to each other.
When cars were so rare you could play in the street.
When Doctors made house calls; Police walked the beat.
Back in the days of Milligan's Goons,
when butter was butter and songs all had tunes.
It was dumplings for dinner and trifle for tea,
and your annual break was a day by the sea.
Back in the days of Dixon's Dock Green,
Crackerjack pens and Lyons ice cream.
When children could freely wear National Health glasses,
and teachers all stood at the FRONT of their classes
Back in the days of rocking and reeling,
when mobiles were things that you hung from the ceiling.
When woodwork and pottery got taught in schools,
and everyone dreamed of a win on the pools.
Back in the days when I was a lad,
I can't help but smile for the fun that I had.
Hopscotch and roller skates; snowballs to lob.
Back in the days of tanners and bobs
Back in the days of tanners and bobs,
When Mothers had patience and Fathers had jobs.
When football team families wore hand me down shoes,
And T.V gave only two channels to chose.
Back in the days of three penny bits,
when schools employed nurses to search for your nits.
When snowballs were harmless; ice slides were permitted
and all of your jumpers were warm and hand knitted.
Back in the days of hot ginger beers,
when children remained so for more than six years.
When children respected what older folks said,
and pot was a thing you kept under your bed.
Back in the days of Listen with Mother,
when neighbours were friendly and talked to each other.
When cars were so rare you could play in the street.
When Doctors made house calls; Police walked the beat.
Back in the days of Milligan's Goons,
when butter was butter and songs all had tunes.
It was dumplings for dinner and trifle for tea,
and your annual break was a day by the sea.
Back in the days of Dixon's Dock Green,
Crackerjack pens and Lyons ice cream.
When children could freely wear National Health glasses,
and teachers all stood at the FRONT of their classes
Back in the days of rocking and reeling,
when mobiles were things that you hung from the ceiling.
When woodwork and pottery got taught in schools,
and everyone dreamed of a win on the pools.
Back in the days when I was a lad,
I can't help but smile for the fun that I had.
Hopscotch and roller skates; snowballs to lob.
Back in the days of tanners and bobs
pidgeonpost
Established Member
You are not alone! Watching a programme about the swinging sixties, free love hippies etc., my daughter said 'So what did you do in 60's dad?'.
I said 'Three shifts, 6-2, 2-10, 10-6'.
Such a tragic waste.
Old Bill in the Met. by any chance?
flying haggis
Established Member
Peterm1000
Guest
I was going to retire early, but my wife invested all our money pasta. She says it was worth every penne.
pidgeonpost
Established Member
Nothing so exciting I'm afraid - working as a computer operator!
wow now that's a bygone career. I think they're called 'technicians' now?Nothing so exciting I'm afraid - working as a computer operator!
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
Doug B
Shy Tot
Cozzer
Established Member
I bought a dictionary the other day.
Out of interest, I looked up the word "dictionary".
The explanation was "This is one".....
Out of interest, I looked up the word "dictionary".
The explanation was "This is one".....
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
I remember being about thirteen, in school in an English lesson. A lad put his hand up and said please sir, what does obnoxious mean? The reply - Obnoxious? Obnoxious is what you are, Williams - look it up!
What, you had computers in the 60s?.Nothing so exciting I'm afraid - working as a computer operator!
All we had in the Met at that time were teleprinters and telephone switchboards the size of an American fridge that you plugged cords in to receive or answer calls
Droogs
Not the Sharpest Moderator in the box
I used to be able to read ITA2 (Murray Code) punch tape at 6' a minute. For a laugh at christmas we all had to take a turn at reading a chapter of scrooge on tape if we were on shift in th ecommcen over xmas. I hated having to load the xmas banner tapes into the readers
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