Joke Thread III
- Thread starter Sachakins
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Tony Works Wood
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Thank You.......... Deep Purple............. What do you need that for?........... That's why I'm fu%&ing deff..........Tony
Cozzer
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Tony Works Wood
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Tony Works Wood
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Brilliant. Love the old school humour.
Sachakins
The most wasted of days is one without woodwork
“God, how long is a million years?”
“To me, it’s about a minute.”“God, how much is a million pounds?”
“To me, it’s a penny.”
“God, may I have a penny?”
“Wait a minute.”
Boringgeoff
Established Member
Tommy Hammer had a terrible st st st st stammer, and eventually his wife said " Tommy I'm over this, what about you go and see a speech pathologist to see if your stammer can be cured?"
Tommy went to a specialist doctor who told him "take off your clothes" when he was undressed the specialist said "I see the problem, you have an extremely large manhood thing and its weight is dragging down on your vocal chord sinews causing the stammer. Now we can probably fix that problem by removing a piece of ************ thing, thereby lightening the load on your vocal chords. What do you think of that?" Tommy replied " Ma ma my wife sa sa said do wa wa whatever has to be da da done".
A few months after the successful operation and Tommy now speaking perfectly, his wife say's " Tommy darling I'm really missing that piece of ************ thing that the doctor removed and I'd actually prefer you how you were, stammer and all, do you think you could see if he could replace it?". "I'll go and ask him" say's Tommy, "you never know, he may have stored it in the fridge". The next morning Tommy fronted up at the surgery and asked the Doctor " Is there any chance of getting that section of my manhood thing that you removed sewn back on?" To which the Doc replied "Sa sa sa sa Sorry!"
Tommy went to a specialist doctor who told him "take off your clothes" when he was undressed the specialist said "I see the problem, you have an extremely large manhood thing and its weight is dragging down on your vocal chord sinews causing the stammer. Now we can probably fix that problem by removing a piece of ************ thing, thereby lightening the load on your vocal chords. What do you think of that?" Tommy replied " Ma ma my wife sa sa said do wa wa whatever has to be da da done".
A few months after the successful operation and Tommy now speaking perfectly, his wife say's " Tommy darling I'm really missing that piece of ************ thing that the doctor removed and I'd actually prefer you how you were, stammer and all, do you think you could see if he could replace it?". "I'll go and ask him" say's Tommy, "you never know, he may have stored it in the fridge". The next morning Tommy fronted up at the surgery and asked the Doctor " Is there any chance of getting that section of my manhood thing that you removed sewn back on?" To which the Doc replied "Sa sa sa sa Sorry!"
Doug B
Shy Tot
MorrisWoodman12
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Cozzer
Established Member
Talking of air hostesses, there's a TV ad for Virgin being shown at present, with "lookalikes" as passengers and staff.
(No, I don't see the point either, but....)
You have Prince mincing up the aisle as a steward, Billy Jean King and the bald drag queen bloke as seated passengers, but my Mrs assures me that the pilot, and the couple with the luggage at the start of the ad, are "celebrities" as well.
Are they?
(No, I don't see the point either, but....)
You have Prince mincing up the aisle as a steward, Billy Jean King and the bald drag queen bloke as seated passengers, but my Mrs assures me that the pilot, and the couple with the luggage at the start of the ad, are "celebrities" as well.
Are they?
stuart little
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stuart little
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I've forgotten how to use those logs,sines,cosines & slide rule etc.!
The corn has "popped" because of the heated seat.
One has to assume that the wife's seat isn't switched on.
stuart little
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Slide rules were good for 'crib notes', formulas written inside under the slide!
stuart little
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Thought it was a banana!
stuart little
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The_Yellow_Ardvark
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The_Yellow_Ardvark
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I think the Joke thread is not for you.
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