Joke Thread II
- Thread starter JBaz
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RobinBHM
Established Member
Whats been happening in the joke thread?
Apparently religion, politics, sharpening, Brexit and jokes are too divisive these days.
Apparently religion, politics, sharpening, Brexit and jokes are too divisive these days.
Doug B
Shy Tot
Poor Ronnie Pickering met his match when he tried to road rage a scouser on a moped!
Doug B
Shy Tot
Yorkieguy
Established Member
flying haggis
Established Member
flying haggis
Established Member
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
There's no apostrophe in "its'", when used in that context.
Doug B
Shy Tot
Kittyhawk
Established Member
It's well over a decade since I passed my end of study interview and got issued with an 'Authority to Practice' as am ambulance man and since retiring I've forgotten just about everything - except for a year one lecture on hygiene, probably because the tutor started with a joke and ended with a rather gross bit of unnecessary information.
Three men in a urinal.
The first finishes and goes to the sink and makes a show of scrupulously washing his hands and announces 'I'm a paramedic and at med school they taught us the importance of hygiene.' The second man finishes, heads to the adjoining sink and as he lathers up says 'I'm a minister and at Bible school they taught us that cleanliness is next to godliness.' The last man zips up, heads for the door and as he passes the other two says 'I'm a sailor and at nautical school they taught us not to pee on our fingers!'
And the grubby conclusion of the lecture..
As I recall, according to the tutor toilet paper manufacturers have a bit of a conundrum in producing a product that produces the right balance between softness and porosity, the two being inversely proportional. In order to satisfy the needs of our delicate Western bottoms, a medium soft double ply paper is the norm but tests show that a minimum stack of four pieces of the double ply is required to prevent fecal material from migrating through and onto the fingers. Eeeeeuuw.
Three men in a urinal.
The first finishes and goes to the sink and makes a show of scrupulously washing his hands and announces 'I'm a paramedic and at med school they taught us the importance of hygiene.' The second man finishes, heads to the adjoining sink and as he lathers up says 'I'm a minister and at Bible school they taught us that cleanliness is next to godliness.' The last man zips up, heads for the door and as he passes the other two says 'I'm a sailor and at nautical school they taught us not to pee on our fingers!'
And the grubby conclusion of the lecture..
As I recall, according to the tutor toilet paper manufacturers have a bit of a conundrum in producing a product that produces the right balance between softness and porosity, the two being inversely proportional. In order to satisfy the needs of our delicate Western bottoms, a medium soft double ply paper is the norm but tests show that a minimum stack of four pieces of the double ply is required to prevent fecal material from migrating through and onto the fingers. Eeeeeuuw.
bushwhaker
Established Member
The text:
-You are so beautiful but isn't what i want.
- What you want?
-Winter tyres.
Note: I special checked wright spelling of "tyre" in UK.
-You are so beautiful but isn't what i want.
- What you want?
-Winter tyres.
Note: I special checked wright spelling of "tyre" in UK.
Adam W.
A Major Clanger
? Nope, you're going to have to explain that one to me.
Pineapple
Established Member
I can only think that if this lady came to stay in my house in a Russian Winter, that I would very soon be very Tired !
Pineapple
Established Member
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