Joke Thread 5

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Cozzer]

An Evri driver stopped me in the street the other day and asked if I knew what time it was.

I told him it was between 9 and 4.

 

[Cozzer]

Not many are aware that Neil Diamond - the talented singer and composer - was actually born "Neil Coal", but the pressure got to him....

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[kinverkid]

This was posted by my two-year-old great-niece's mother. Not really a joke but I thought it might bring a smile to your face if you interview some of the toddlers in your families with these questions.

CHILD INTERVIEW**
Ask your child these questions and write the exact response!
What’s your name? Paisley
How old are you? Shows 2 fingers
How old is Mummy? 6
What’s your favourite colour? Red
What’s your favourite food? Ice cream
Who’s your best friend? Hallie harper
What’s your favourite animal? Cow
What makes you happy? Hallie harper
Where’s your favourite place to go? Garden
What do you want to be when you grow up? Doing the playdough
Where does money come from? Up at the Tesco
Where do you live? In a cave
Where did you come from? Up nursery
What's your favourite number? Mommy and daddy
What are you good at? Playdough
What is your favourite thing about bath time? Splashing
What do you like to cook? Food
What do you love? Mommy

 

[stuart little]

This thread's like TV now, all repeats! Think I'll ignore it for a while, things might get better, unless -----------------

 

[selectortone]

Not many are aware that Neil Diamond - the talented singer and composer - was actually born "Neil Coal", but the pressure got to him....

And it's also a little known fact that Roald Dahl's parents couldn't spell Ronald.

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Sachakins]

Just watched an interesting video on time travel.
I'll watch it again yesterday.

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

This thread's like TV now, all repeats! Think I'll ignore it for a while, things might get better, unless -----------------

Rejoice - it's proof that your short term memory is functioning!

While you are ignoring them, that will free up a bit of time for you to post a few maybe?

Just saying.

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Chubber]

A quote from my BBC tablet, I am sure it must belong in joke topics, unless you're the one who has paid 500ķ for a new house...

"At first glance, Bassingbourn Fields looks like a textbook modern development, surrounded by countryside.
But the residents we've spoken to tell a very different story.
A young woman, who didn’t want to be identified, tells me that within weeks of moving in, the entire staircase collapsed and her husband fell into the understairs cupboard.
"The contractor who came to fix it said there was only one screw in each step. There should have been 14," she says.
"We’ll leave as soon as we can – too many bad memories here."

 

[paulrbarnard]

A quote from my BBC tablet, I am sure it must belong in joke topics, unless you're the one who has paid 500ķ for a new house...

"At first glance, Bassingbourn Fields looks like a textbook modern development, surrounded by countryside.
But the residents we've spoken to tell a very different story.
A young woman, who didn’t want to be identified, tells me that within weeks of moving in, the entire staircase collapsed and her husband fell into the understairs cupboard.
"The contractor who came to fix it said there was only one screw in each step. There should have been 14," she says.
"We’ll leave as soon as we can – too many bad memories here."

Didn’t you post this one a few weeks ago? I don’t get it this time either.

 

[Chubber]

I posted it 3 days ago when I first read it but where it has been since I have no idea!

 

[Jaydee]