Joke Thread 5
- Thread starter Noel
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Doug B
Shy Tot
Yorkieguy
Established Member
bushwhaker
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Robbo3
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Jester129
Established Member
I have to say, yesterday was the funniest day EVER!!
Good turnout today at the Edinburgh fridge festival.
How did you get your hands on my school photo ?
Jaco
Established Member
Bloke in a fishmonger's queue.
He eventually reaches the front....
"Some salmon fillets, please"
"Sorry matey - didn't have any delivered today...sorry"
The bloke, disappointed, wanders away from the counter, but strangely joins the back of the queue again, before finding himself at the front to be served.
"Some salmon fillets, please"
"No... sorry sir... none delivered, and we're not expecting any to be dropped off later either...so....."
The bloke wanders away from the counter again, but strangely joins the back of the queue, before finding himself at the front to be served.
The same conversation takes place. In fact, the same scene repeats another couple of times.
The fishmonger is getting a bit agitated by now. The bloke appears to be OK mentally, and isn't shouting or anything untoward .... so what's going on?
"Some salmon fillets, please"
"Look, pal... I don't wish to be rude, but I've got better things to do than entertain you, time and time again!"
"I only want some salmon fillets...."
"Look! How can I make this any clearer?! The word "fillets" - how many f's are there?"
"One"
"And how many f's are there in "fresh fish"?"
"Two"
"And in the word "salmon?"
"There's no f in salmon"
"I know! I've been telling you that all bleedin' morning!"
He eventually reaches the front....
"Some salmon fillets, please"
"Sorry matey - didn't have any delivered today...sorry"
The bloke, disappointed, wanders away from the counter, but strangely joins the back of the queue again, before finding himself at the front to be served.
"Some salmon fillets, please"
"No... sorry sir... none delivered, and we're not expecting any to be dropped off later either...so....."
The bloke wanders away from the counter again, but strangely joins the back of the queue, before finding himself at the front to be served.
The same conversation takes place. In fact, the same scene repeats another couple of times.
The fishmonger is getting a bit agitated by now. The bloke appears to be OK mentally, and isn't shouting or anything untoward .... so what's going on?
"Some salmon fillets, please"
"Look, pal... I don't wish to be rude, but I've got better things to do than entertain you, time and time again!"
"I only want some salmon fillets...."
"Look! How can I make this any clearer?! The word "fillets" - how many f's are there?"
"One"
"And how many f's are there in "fresh fish"?"
"Two"
"And in the word "salmon?"
"There's no f in salmon"
"I know! I've been telling you that all bleedin' morning!"
Jaco
Established Member
stuart little
Established Member
I watched a 'Hammer House of Mystery & Suspense' episode whereby an electronics genius trapped his young wife with her lover in a locked room, then killed them by playing 7hz of sound. If it killed them, why didn't it kill viewers, who also heard it? 
J-G
Established Member
Below 20Hz it's unlikely that any human would 'hear' it !
(I know it's a 'joke' - but they should 'work')
stuart little
Established Member
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