agh This is driving me nuts! (he's on about his health again

[Digit]

Hell Moose, had you offended them at some time? I wouldn't have thought you could have climbed into one of those cars, pulling it on like a pair of trousers maybe. :lol:

Roy.

 

[big soft moose]

Hell Moose, had you offended them at some time? I wouldn't have thought you could have climbed into one of those cars, pulling it on like a pair of trousers maybe. :lol:

Roy.

no - apparently thats what they have as courtsey cars - odd as they are a ford main dealer - however they have promised to let me have one of their demonstrators like a fiesta or focus next time after i made my feelings about the short comings of the smart exceptionally clear to the manager. (anyway lets not hijack toms thread - appologies for the digresion)

 

[wizer]

I'm actually 6' 3" and a bit. But I stoop quite a bit so no one ever believes how tall I am.

Like I say, I really don't feel any discomfort from the smart car, the opposite in fact. I just wish it was happy to do longer miles, as I'd be able to go a bit further when needed. It's not great on the motor way. It can do 80 comfortably but you can tell it's not designed for that. In total honesty, if\when finances become more comfortable, I will definitely buy another (newer) one. No doubt. Even if I won the lotto, I'd have one for knocking about in.

The only other car that I have driven and felt comfortable in was the CRV, but that was stupidly expensive to run and got cut for economic reasons. Obviously transit vans are good too, but not feasible. Hmmm What about a Bedford Rascal?

Roy IBS falls under the IBD umbrella and that's the sort of stuff they were looking for today. The issue is nothing to do with bowel movement, but serious pain in that area and obviously it was inflamed severely when they operated on me. I had similar problems about 4yrs ago and went through all the camera tests. For a while they thought I had Ulcerative Colitis, but in the end it just fizzled out to 'inconclusive' again. So something is very definitely wrong. But finding out exactly what is going to be tricky, I think. It seems like the problem is not straight forward and will take a lot of investigation. Which would be fine if it was all going to happen soon. But every test, appointment, etc takes a minimum of 6 weeks and 'jumping the queue' doesn't seem to exist unless you are literally dying.

Oddly I'm feeling a bit more positive despite the inconclusive verdict. I'm not sure how long that will last.

 

[Tom K]

Hi Wiz, see your at it again with the old SHBW stuff :lol:
Don't ever sell your tools unless you cant feed the baby.
I'm guessing you owe a considerable sum on the mortgage and your tools wouldn't even make a dent.
I wonder if some or all of your problems are due to stress. It can affect people in the strangest ways, I know you have actual pain and
problems with your back but if you are always anticipating the next spasm
and the resulting loss of earnings lack of quality time with your family etc perhaps some of it is self perpetuating?
I think you said before that you had tried all the ologys and ists but wonder wether a hypnotherapist could help you cope?

 

[Digit]

The waiting is hell isn't it?

Roy.

 

[wizer]

Funny enough Tom I was looking at Hypnotherapy earlier. But I'd never go in for anything like that. Things like that give me the hump But I'm going to give the CBT thing a go again. I just have to try not to be sarcastic

 

[BMac]

Tom, me again,

The CBT is super. I went through it a couple of years after I had to stop working (I didn't know you could be depressed and not know but everyone around you did) and it turned my life around. I wouldn't leave the house because I was so ashamed that I wasn't working and found a million excuses to just hide away from my family and friends thinking I was sparing them the hassle of having to look at me.

I am not going to tell you how CBT works but I will tell you that you won't be lectured or patronised.

I'm sending you a PM on another, related, issue.

Brendan

 

[Tom K]

I just have to try not to be sarcastic

Ha! I find that impossible :lol: I know what you mean about therapy beardy weirdys and all that but I was a smoker for 28 years
My daughter nagged me into hypnotherapy, she booked it and payed
for it I went just to shut her up but smoked my last cigarette two days later. That was 7 years ago and I still don't know if it was the therapist or
being fed up with the nagging but something worked :lol: I have also experienced a couple of episodes in my life where I didn't appreciate how badly I was being affected by stress until the situation was resolved and the weght was taken from my shoulders.

 

[MIGNAL]

IBS can be extremely painful. I suffered from it for 6 months. I'm of the opinion that stress/anxiety prompted the episode. I'm certainly not trying to diagnose Tom's problem but
I guess it's just another of the possibilities.

 

[wizer]

I know that I will find it really hard to make the CBT work for me. I just find it all a bit patronising. I don't worry or fret about things that aren't real. Everything that 'gets me down' is actually happening. So, we'll see. I'm actually eager to try. I have had enough of sitting in this bed and I want all this sorted. I don't want to loose anything that I've worked for up until now. Since I was 16 I have been in constant full time work. I bought my first house when I was 20 and I just can't bare to loose everything I have without a F****** good fight. Hopefully with the stress managed and some more exercise, things should start to sort themselves out. If work can help me ease back in then I should at least give it a try. I won't get my OT back anytime soon, but at least I won't loose any money.

Thanks again everyone. It's helped to vent, vent in a way that's not to easy IRL.

 

[big soft moose]

I know that I will find it really hard to make the CBT work for me. I just find it all a bit patronising. I don't worry or fret about things that aren't real. Everything that 'gets me down' is actually happening. So, we'll see. I'm actually eager to try. I have had enough of sitting in this bed and I want all this sorted. I don't want to loose anything that I've worked for up until now. Since I was 16 I have been in constant full time work. I bought my first house when I was 20 and I just can't bare to loose everything I have without a F****** good fight. Hopefully with the stress managed and some more exercise, things should start to sort themselves out. If work can help me ease back in then I should at least give it a try. I won't get my OT back anytime soon, but at least I won't loose any money.

Thanks again everyone. It's helped to vent, vent in a way that's not to easy IRL.

My sister who has another inconclusive condition (its alledgely M.E but she has neurological symptoms not consistent with that diagnosis like occasional leg paralysis - they've tested for M.S, MND and alsorts of other such - but i digress) has had CBT, and while id didnt cure her , and i doubt it wil cure you , it did help her learn to cope

one thing i would stress is its not about them telling you that the things that get you down arent real - its about learning to cope with the things that are real so that they dont get you down (as much)

stress and the resultant depresion can manifest as real physical symptoms or worsen symptoms you alrady have - that worsening causes you more stress and so on arround. CBT is about breaking that vicious circle and helping you take your life back.

like i said it wont cure the underlying conditions so dont go into it hoping that it will , but it ought to make the physical symptoms more bearable and stop them from taking over your life, as well as dealing with the secondary issues like stress etc.

 

[Lons]

Wiser:

Christ - a SMART car? :?

Dunno how anybody can feel comfortable in that. Had one for a week in Italy as was all I could get and it's the worst car I've ever used.. I wouldn't accept one as a gift :roll:

You can get some very comfortable and powerful diesels with £35 RFL and 50-60 mpg
I've got a bmw320d at £120 RFL (I think) and get 45-55mpg. Fast and very comfortable and cheaper to run than my wifes' mini cooper so plenty of choice out there when you come to change.

Downsizing:- ...... I lost a well paid job 15 years ago when the company I managed went bust and closed 10 branches. I was out of work for almost a year and would never want to go through the mental anguish again.
I received no benefits as my wife was working but we suffered badly financially and I was under great pressure from everyone to sell the house.
I refused as to me it didn't make sense to throw thousands away in fees and taxes and I was confident that eventually I could turn things around.
With hindsight it was 100% right in my case.
I have a sister who has done it 3 times now, she's still in hock and has lost almost all of her capital - stupid woman! :?


On your diagnosis:- ..... if the doc said to me "you haven't got Chrons and I can't find anything abnormal" I'd be singing all the way home and looking forward to tomorrow!

Doesn't help you I know but the more I read, the more convinced I am that you've got to get your head sorted before you can mend your physical symptoms.

I've got a close family friend who is the most positive person I have ever known and has the least reason to be so.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer 12 years ago which spread to her bones. She lost her only daughter 10 years ago in an horific motorcycle accident. She has had steel plates inserted to enable her to walk, has almost constant chemo and permanent pain. She knows she's dying but has survived the last 5 or 6 years on willpower. - Never once have I heard her moan about her misfortune!

Amazing what the power of the mind can do and I believe it can just as easily work against you if you allow it to.

Just my pennerth Wiser and not meant to be destructive, I really feel for you and hope you get it sorted soon.
Bob

 

[Digit]

Never once have I heard her moan about her misfortune!

A few days after I was diagnosed with cancer I walked into a meeting of a local support group having said to my wife, 'if it's bunch of people bemoaning their hard luck I'm off!'
Never have I been so wrong Bob, like your friend they were, and remain, an inspiration!

Roy.

 

[Lons]

Never once have I heard her moan about her misfortune!

A few days after I was diagnosed with cancer I walked into a meeting of a local support group having said to my wife, 'if it's bunch of people bemoaning their hard luck I'm off!'
Never have I been so wrong Bob, like your friend they were, and remain, an inspiration!

Roy.

Sorry to here of your cancer Roy. I think everybody dreads to think they will here the "C" word.

My friend rang me last week and in passing, laughingly said she had burned her feet and had to walk everywhere on her heels for 3 days. When I said "how the hell did you do that woman" she dismissed it and told me she had double dosed her pills which caused it! Then promptly asked about my health etc..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :duno:

I'm a classic grumpy old man at times and I moan about all sorts but I think I'm positive about the important things in life and I never cease to be amazed by the attitudes of people who should have plenty to moan about.

My attitude to life changed 13 years ago when my daughter had a very serious car accident half a mile from home. She survived bad injuries and has just qualified with distinction and started as a staff nurse on A&E.

Brings home the important things in life.

Best wishes

Bob

 

[Digit]

Brings home the important things in life.

Indeed!

Roy.

 

[woodbloke]

If you like you could pop down and help me with my website and I'll set up some spreadsheets with you to help you model a few scenarios - downsizing, full recovery in 6 months, ill-health and job loss, reduced hours and pro-rata pay etc. It might help you understand all that mortgage stuff you hate and whether moving house is really a good idea.

Tom - for my money, this is a fantastic offer from Mrs O that you can't afford to turn down - Rob

 

[Mike.C]

Lons wrote;

Sorry to here of your cancer Roy. I think everybody dreads to think they will here the "C" word.

I agree, but it is the way that some people treat you that makes things worse. There seems to be four camps (1) Are the people who stop coming around because they think that they are going to catch it off you. (2) Are those that want to know when the funeral is going to be. These ones do not seem to realise that there are treatments (even though its a post code lottery, and if your area's NHS is not willing to pay for the drugs you either die or go private) and with help you can fight the illness. (3) Those who keep away because they do not know what to say. (4) Your family, real friends, and other members of the public who don't treat you as if you have the plague, and that they can touch you and your not going to break.

Tom you have been given some great advice, and those that have mentioned about selling your tools have their reasons, but IMHO I really think that you would regret it, and should only be done as a very last resort.

Cheers

Mike

 

[wizer]

If you like you could pop down and help me with my website and I'll set up some spreadsheets with you to help you model a few scenarios - downsizing, full recovery in 6 months, ill-health and job loss, reduced hours and pro-rata pay etc. It might help you understand all that mortgage stuff you hate and whether moving house is really a good idea.

Tom - for my money, this is a fantastic offer from Mrs O that you can't afford to turn down - Rob

Yes, both Oryx's have been most kind. I bit her hand off :shock: :lol:

 

[Digit]

1) Are the people who stop coming around because they think that they are going to catch it off you. (2) Are those that want to know when the funeral is going to be. These ones do not seem to realise that there are treatments (even though its a post code lottery, and if your area's NHS is not willing to pay for the drugs you either die or go private) and with help you can fight the illness. (3) Those who keep away because they do not know what to say. (4) Your family, real friends, and other members of the public who don't treat you as if you have the plague, and that they can touch you and your not going to break.

And I've met them all Mike. When I was epileptic I can recall snapping at one 'friend', 'it's not contagious you know!'
When I informed another chap that I had cancer he said, 'oh! How long have you got?' (Made my day that one!)
The third group I can sympathise with, and the fourth group buoy you up.

Roy.

 

[woodbloke]

Yes, both Oryx's have been most kind. I bit her hand off :shock: :lol:

Now that's a big mistake Tom...how can Mrs O type a spreadsheet now? :lol: - Rob