Joke thread

[mikej460]

Wheely tyred and flat?

so much so I have to take a seat

 

[kinverkid]

Went to the Bike shop today and bought a new pump , it was very expensive but that's inflation for you

Treadfull

 

[MARK.B.]

Gentlemen please no more or we risk falling into a cycle from which there is only one way out and that my friends is rarely spoken about because it is tiresome and somewhat middle of the road in a pedestrian sort of way . Now if you will excuse me , i am off to polish my chopper

 

[Sachakins]

Gentlemen please no more or we risk falling into a cycle from which there is only one way out and that my friends is rarely spoken about because it is tiresome and somewhat middle of the road in a pedestrian sort of way . Now if you will excuse me , i am off to polish my chopper

Oh wheelie spoke too soon...

 

[kinverkid]

That's a shame you're asking us to cease our freewheeling. We were all geared up to keep it up.

 

[Inspector]

You guys have derailed the joke thread and made it a pun thread. Shame on you.

Pete

 

[Noel]

You guys have derailed the joke thread and made it a pun thread. Shame on you.

Pete

You should man up.

 

[JobandKnock]

You should man up.

That's job market shrinkage for you - I remember a time when it was Seven Up

 

[mikej460]

Gentlemen please no more or we risk falling into a cycle from which there is only one way out and that my friends is rarely spoken about because it is tiresome and somewhat middle of the road in a pedestrian sort of way . Now if you will excuse me , i am off to polish my chopper

On yer bike...

With bells on

 

[JobandKnock]

My dad was foreman of a department in a factory. He had an arrangement with the stores foreman for dealing with gobby new teenagers who knew it all. He would send them to the stores to ask for a "long stand".

They did it to me as well. I told my mate at college, so well primed, when he was told to go to the paint shop where he worked for a long stand by the gaffer, he told him where to go in no uncertain terms - for which he received a clip round the ear and some one to one instruction in Anglo-Saxon descriptive prose. It turned out the paint shop really did have stands made up for work in three heights off the floor - short, medium and long...

 

[user 38384]

 

[Ttrees]

A man after me own heart!

 

[stuckinthemud]

I knew a retired colliery bricklayer who when an apprentice hadn't noticed his gaffer was a lefty. Gaffer sent 'Prentice to the colliery store to get a left handed trowel. Smart Alec apprentice refused to go. Funny thing, after the "lesson" that came next he never forgot bricklayer's trowels are 'handed' (brick cutting edge), never argued about going to the stores, still hadn't forgotten the lesson....

 

[Linus]

Meanwhile, back on the joke thread!

 

[Doug B]

 

[Smike]

View attachment 127843

I agree !!!

 

[stuart little]

Misunderstood

No, that was hit for 'The Animals'.

 

[stuart little]

Just as Santa set off on Christmas Eve, Mrs Clause told him to take his umbrella. "why?" said Santa;

"In case of rain dear!"

 

[Jameshow]

I was playing hide and seek the other night with my daughter, when I had a rather bad accident which resulted in me ending up on I C U......!

 

[Stan]

Young lad fresh out of college turns up at work for his first day. The miserable old g** of a foreman hands him a broom and tells him to sweep the floor.

Young lad: But, but I'm a graduate engineer!

Foreman: Ah, yes. Let me show you how.