Joke Thread III

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Bring me sunshine....

There were two old men sitting in deckchairs.
One said to the other,
"It's nice out"
The other chap replied
"You'd better put it away, there's a woman coming"

Or the kids favourite.

Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed.
 
Mrs O'Reilly went to see her doctor and asked him if he could do anything for her husband who no longer had a *** drive.
'Have you tried Viagra?' the Doctor asked.
'He won't swallow pills, Doctor,' she said.
'Well, you're in luck,' says the Doctor. 'They've just developed Viagra in liquid form. Here's a bottle, stick a dose his coffee and he won't even know it's there.'
She goes off but returns in a few days. Her neck is covered in love bites and she's looking very distressed. 'I can't use this again, Doctor,' she said handing back the Viagra.
'Didn't it work?' asks the Doc.
'Oh yes,' she said. 'I put it in his coffee like you said and within seconds he became a raging bull. He ripped me clothes off, threw me on the table and ravished me for two hours.'
'You didn't like it?' asks the Doc.
'Oh yes. it was the best *** we've had in 25 years but I'll never be able to hold me head up in Starbucks again.'
 
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