Cozzer
Established Member
Man bared from Norn Iron Chippy after asking for his Mars bar to be deep fried
Well, if he bared his Mars bar in the chippy, I'm not surprised!
However, if he was barred, that would be different....
Joke Thread III
- Thread starter Sachakins
- Start date
Help Support UKworkshop.co.uk:
- Status
Well, if he bared his Mars bar in the chippy, I'm not surprised!
However, if he was barred, that would be different....
We have not seen any shortage of Tomatos round here in fact at Lidl the other day a string bag with 8 Tomatos in £1-89 and plenty of Cos lettuce in tonight got to be London hype to hike prices . Some where in the world there is a place where Lord Lucan rides his horse Shergar and lives in a house made from 5 billion toilet rolls and didn't know what to have with his mountain of pasta till now , yummy look at all these Tomatos
Robbo3
Established Member
What happened to "In skidness and in smelth".
Jester129
Established Member
Jester129
Established Member
The Last Kiss
Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin , Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear 'sensitive', George also didn't want to miss this 'be-a-legend' opportunity either so he asked..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe... Why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin , Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear 'sensitive', George also didn't want to miss this 'be-a-legend' opportunity either so he asked..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe... Why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
If it’s that stripey, perhaps he should see a doctor …Well, if he bared his Mars bar in the chippy, I'm not surprised!
However, if he was barred, that would be different....
Pineapple
Established Member
Join a Lonely Hearts Club & show her your options....she will advise you what your best course of action is.
Like thousands of other kids who got their parents to buy boxes of cereal with the free plastic submarine inside, I spent many a happy hour sat in the bath on a Friday night filling the little green sub with baking powder, then watching it rise and fall in the dark dank water that had been used by my two sisters before me.
I never realised this was the start of clean energy as a report in todays daily joker indicates.
I never realised this was the start of clean energy as a report in todays daily joker indicates.
MorrisWoodman12
Established Member
Er! Yes but how many miles/Kg or should that be Kg/mile?
The problem with the "Education-Intelligence" one is that far too many people have neither, but still think that they're "smart", usually boasting that they've attended "The University of Life" for decades without ever coming close to graduating.
No-one ever does graduate, of course, but deluding oneself that lacking both attributes is a cause for self-congratulation is a peculiarly bizarre phenomenon...
The barely-literate hacks at the DM already generate enough "fertiliser" to run all the major airlines and air forces in the world....
Never the less society and being employed is based on how well you did in this "Phenomenon"The problem with the "Education-Intelligence" one is that far too many people have neither, but still think that they're "smart", usually boasting that they've attended "The University of Life" for decades without ever coming close to graduating.
No-one ever does graduate, of course, but deluding oneself that lacking both attributes is a cause for self-congratulation is a peculiarly bizarre phenomenon...
Its a joke thread?The barely-literate hacks at the DM already generate enough "fertiliser" to run all the major airlines and air forces in the world....
PhilTilson
Established Member
Not any more it isn't, or so it seems!
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
It claims to be a newspaper.
A few years ago while living on an open plan estate I witnessed at about 11pm a neighbour open his front door and watch his dog cr8p on my other neighbours front lawn ,call the dog in and shut the door. Took a few seconds to scoop up the mess and deposit it on his doorstep with force. I would have reported him to the Police but as he was one I thought it was perhaps a waste of time.
- Status
