Joke Thread III
- Thread starter Sachakins
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The_Yellow_Ardvark
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The_Yellow_Ardvark
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stuart little
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Jameshow
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Kofta is a type of kebab...!
Jaco
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flying haggis
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A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a shopping centre. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen a lift) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old woman with a cane moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady ambled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24 year-old blonde stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
"Go get your Mother."
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen a lift) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old woman with a cane moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady ambled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24 year-old blonde stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
"Go get your Mother."
Jester129
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Mt girlfriend often borrows my t-shirts and shirts and I don't mind: I borrow one of her dresses and "We have to talk"!
flying haggis
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Last edited:
The_Yellow_Ardvark
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stuart little
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That explains it as I don't eat that kind of ---- .
Cozzer
Established Member
So, a Mr.Little - no relation - wakes up in the hospital.
"What on earth happened? Why am I here?!" he asks the doctor
"You've been in a terrible car accident. You're going to live but I'm afraid there is some bad news. You lost your ***** in the crash. However, the good news is that there is corrective surgery that can reconstruct it. While you were unconscious, your insurance company contacted us and said they will pay £8,000 for the surgery. But as you're aware, the NHS is in dire straits, so we'll have to charge, I'm afraid... The cost will be £1,000 per inch. You may want to spend the entire amount or maybe only four or five thousand - It's up to you, but your wife is waiting to visit you. Perhaps this is something you should discuss together before you decide? I'll check in with you the next time I do my rounds."
A few hours later, the doctor returns...
"Did you manage a chat with your wife?"
"I did," the man tells him.
"And what is your decision?" the doctor asks.
Mr.Little shrugs.
"We're going for the granite worktops...."
"What on earth happened? Why am I here?!" he asks the doctor
"You've been in a terrible car accident. You're going to live but I'm afraid there is some bad news. You lost your ***** in the crash. However, the good news is that there is corrective surgery that can reconstruct it. While you were unconscious, your insurance company contacted us and said they will pay £8,000 for the surgery. But as you're aware, the NHS is in dire straits, so we'll have to charge, I'm afraid... The cost will be £1,000 per inch. You may want to spend the entire amount or maybe only four or five thousand - It's up to you, but your wife is waiting to visit you. Perhaps this is something you should discuss together before you decide? I'll check in with you the next time I do my rounds."
A few hours later, the doctor returns...
"Did you manage a chat with your wife?"
"I did," the man tells him.
"And what is your decision?" the doctor asks.
Mr.Little shrugs.
"We're going for the granite worktops...."
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