Joke Thread II

[Yorkieguy]

 

[SamG340]

This car argument has ceased to be funny, but here's another one, BMW drivers seem to be pretty serious about their driving and easily offended. Can we even have a joke thread without upsetting people's feelings if there is a whiff of prejudice? Sorry, I should have added "some" BMW drivers... That's the problem I think, but what comedian ever started a sentence with the word "Some"?

I think we should have a joke thread WITH upsetting people's feelings, especially BMW drivers

It's more fun that way

 

[Thingybob]

My wife and I both drive BMWs ……often wondered what the intermittent green flashing lights were for.

Its just not funny any more Arrrrgggg

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

I think we should have a joke thread WITH upsetting people's feelings, especially BMW drivers

It's more fun that way

Yes! Oh YES! A non PC joke thread. We're all far too pc and woke these days. No fun in that.

 

[Thingybob]

With all these non funny jokes about BMWs it proves they are a very common car

 

[SamG340]

Back in the day BMW drivers were the worst on the road but take a look around next time you're out and about...

it's Audi drivers that are the real problem now

 

[Thingybob]

Back in the day BMW drivers were the worst on the road but take a look around next time you're out and about...

it's Audi drivers that are the real problem now

Not you too Sam

 

[fixit45]

zzzzzZZZZZZ yawn.

 

[TRITON]

 

[Lorenzl]

I think Audi have overtaken BMW as the worst drivers as a lot of company car drivers moved over to them about 10 years ago. I remember talking to a BMW salesman at a party about that time and he said they had stopped promoting their cars with a boy racer image.

 

[SamG340]

 

[SamG340]

A LAWYER is getting out of his BMW when a semi rolls by, taking the open door clean off. A nearby cop has seen all of this, and runs over.
The lawyer immediately starts screaming and gesticulating about the value of his beamer and how much it’s going to cost him to get it fixed.

The cop loses his patience and says, “You lawyers are so materialistic. All you care about is money!”

The lawyer is incensed and says, “How dare you call me materialistic? Do you know what I earn an hour? You have no idea what kind of pressure I’m under!”

The cop says, “Well, you’re so concerned about your beamer, you didn’t notice the truck took your arm off at the elbow.”

The lawyer looks down and screams “#@*&! My rolex!”

 

[Jameshow]

Audi S3 are the boy racers vehicle if choice up here as well as drug dealers...

BMW do seem to have toned them down..

 

[OCtoolguy]

To be fair, most drivers in the US don't know what clutch pedals and gear sticks are for either...

That is very true. We use the shift pattern as a secret code for "millenials".

 

[Lorenzl]

I was watching a carjacking on Youtube the other day. The car jacker couldn't drive the car as it was a manual and ran off

 

[JimJay]

I was watching a carjacking on Youtube the other day. The car jacker couldn't drive the car as it was a manual and ran off

Why "ran" off? It seems that actually punishing crims nowadays is an affront to their human rights and self esteem - I'm surprised that the owner of the car wasn't arrested for attempted entrapment.....

 

[stuart little]

Here in the U.S. Porsche, BMW and Mercedes drivers have no idea what those little levers on the left of the steering column are for. They've never given them a try. And most of them are obnoxious anyway so there is that too.

I thought it was an offence NOT to indicate over there or is it only certain states?

 

[JimJay]

I thought it was an offence NOT to indicate over there or is it only certain states?

No, it's only if a camera or a cop sees you.....

 

[stuart little]

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[MorrisWoodman12]

Audi S3 are the boy racers vehicle if choice up here as well as drug dealers...

I'm not sure if you're complimenting me or not, as an S3 owning 70 something. Glad I'm down south otherwise I'd be a drug dealing boy racer.