Joke Thread 5

[Amateur]

Lancashire man goes into his house and asks the wife,
"Wheres the bin??
" Nowhere luv, bin here washin an ironin"
"No.
The bloody recycling bin"

A difficult dialect to understand, even for Lancashire folk.

 

[Stan]

A difficult dialect to understand, even for Lancashire folk.

When I was little, my nan, ( from Cheshire ), used to say to me what sounded like " aaiaye oooop choook".

It took me ages to work out what she meant.

Now if she had said "haweaaaiiy maannn" like any civilised Geordie, ( my dad's ethnicity ), I would have understood her perfectly.

 

[dzj]

 

[RobinBHM]

 

[Yorkieguy]

Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the liquor store.

I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.

I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.

It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open.

She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.

With her braless breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?"

I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer you got?"

THE ARROGANCE OF OLD AGE

That’s the question I’d ask - Iit’s what happens when you reach an age at which you can’t take ‘yes’ for an answer!

 

[Stan]

That’s the question I’d ask - Iit’s what happens when you reach an age at which you can’t take ‘yes’ for an answer!

Ah yes. The time when your brain writes cheques that your body can no longer cash.....

 

[Blackswanwood]