Joke Thread 5

[Amateur]

 

[Amateur]

Well I have - but under protest!
It's difficult to understand the attraction of trying to eat a likely suspect meal ladled onto a paper plate balanced precariously on the lap with a plastic fork and having to share the food with various sundry bugs that feel entitled to a piece of the action - and especially so when you know very well that there is a perfectly fine dining table inside as well as decent chairs, crockery and cutlery.

Sounds like your confused.
That was your child's fifth birthday party.
Did you have jelly and wear a silly hat as well?

 

[Doug B]

 

[Jaco]

WIFE; I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
HUSBAND; Why not just throw them inn the Rubbish? That'd be much easier.
WIFE; But there are poor starving people out there who could really use all these clothes.
HUSBAND; Honey, anyone who can fit into your clothing is not starving.
The Husband is now recovering from a head injury.

My Wife texted me a selfie in a new dress and asked "Does this make my butt look big?"
I texted back "NOO!"
My damn phone autocorrected my response to "MOO!"
Please send help!!


If a tree falls on your ex in the woods,
and no one is around to hear it,
You should probably still get rid of the Chainsaw


Walmart is opening Dental Offices in some of its stores.
There will be an express lane for people with 12 teeth or less!

 

[Jaco]

Well I have - but under protest!
It's difficult to understand the attraction of trying to eat a likely suspect meal ladled onto a paper plate balanced precariously on the lap with a plastic fork and having to share the food with various sundry bugs that feel entitled to a piece of the action - and especially so when you know very well that there is a perfectly fine dining table inside as well as decent chairs, crockery and cutlery.

Not sure where in NZ you live, our friends dont have that problem