Joke Thread 5

[ey_tony]

 

[artie]

View attachment 196019

Probably a slightly better option than a hippo

 

[Vulcan]

 

[niemeyjt]

I thought it was, but apparently there's some truth to it.

Take it as a warning against adopting a Hippo

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One's very heavy whilst the other is a little lighter.

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[Jameshow]

View attachment 196031

A tyre firm had depots in London Birmingham Bristol and Keighley !!!

 

[treeturner123]

A tyre firm had depots in London Birmingham Bristol and Keighley !!!

Not forgetting the Trotters Van - New York, Paris, Peckham!

 

[Jaco]

Clean up your room

8yo: I feel like you're always making up rules and stuff

Me: like what?

8yo: Like if we don't clean up our room, a portal will open and take us to another dimension

Me: Well that's what happened to your older brother

8yo: What older brother?

Me: Exactly

 

[Tris]

Clean up your room

8yo: I feel like you're always making up rules and stuff

Me: like what?

8yo: Like if we don't clean up our room, a portal will open and take us to another dimension

Me: Well that's what happened to your older brother

8yo: What older brother?

Me: Exactly

Wonder if it'll work on a teenager?
Will report back later

 

[dzj]

 

[sploo]

View attachment 195934.

The hippo is my spirit animal.

It doesn't actually eat people (mostly herbivore). In the "animal kingdom" it's rare that a creature will expend energy doing something that isn't critical to its survival (getting food, mating, defending territory etc). However, hippos are so unpleasant and grumpy that they'll go out of their way to kill you. Just because they want to.

I fully approve of that sort of obnoxious misanthropy.

 

[Vulcan]

There’s a few on here …