Never been through an airport?
Joke Thread 5
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SammyQ
Established Member
Tin? Metal? Detector? Nasty things on flights? 9/11, two planes hijacked using Stanley knives? Metal? Hmm??
One of the funniest representations of a Glasgow barman.
Doug B
Shy Tot
One evening a Parisian grandmother collects her visiting English granddaughter in a taxi at Orly Airport.
Leaving the airport they pass several whores in small groups, some with little poodles in their arms.
"What are those ladies doing, Grandmere?"
"Cherie, those ladies have been to a bridge club and a dog show and are waiting for a lift home"
The driver laughs and sneeringly says "Madame, don't mislead the girl, she needs to know the facts of life, Mam'selle, they are prostitutes, waiting to have sex with strangers for money!!"
"Oh!" exclaims the girl, "and, if they get pregnant, what will happen to the little babies? "
Says grandma "Pah! Don't worry, ma petite, the world will always want more taxi-drivers..."
Leaving the airport they pass several whores in small groups, some with little poodles in their arms.
"What are those ladies doing, Grandmere?"
"Cherie, those ladies have been to a bridge club and a dog show and are waiting for a lift home"
The driver laughs and sneeringly says "Madame, don't mislead the girl, she needs to know the facts of life, Mam'selle, they are prostitutes, waiting to have sex with strangers for money!!"
"Oh!" exclaims the girl, "and, if they get pregnant, what will happen to the little babies? "
Says grandma "Pah! Don't worry, ma petite, the world will always want more taxi-drivers..."
Last edited:
stuart little
Established Member
Jaco
Established Member
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond Bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little oops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well, Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'What is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to crap yourself when I tell you the price!"
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little oops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well, Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'What is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to crap yourself when I tell you the price!"
Brilliant!! Was watching the one last night where he calls on a neighbours house bursting on a *****. Absolutely hilarious!
Doug B
Shy Tot
stuart little
Established Member
No comment!
Ian_B
Established Member
Puggers
Established Member
Fireworks over Herefordshire tonightNO! OH! - I get it now
Doug B
Shy Tot
The_Yellow_Ardvark
Established Member
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