Joke Thread 5

[Thingybob]

Not so sure about that. Didn’t you make your own explosives, throw fireworks at each other, play splits with the knives you regularly carried, played on building sites hollowing out stacks of bricks to make forts, …

All good clean fun and learning life skills in case you were shipwrecked on your journey to the Isle of Man

 

[Doug B]

 

[Vulcan]

 

[Terry - Somerset]

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From a time when you could make jokes about race, religion, skin colour, weight, national stereotypes, class etc without being subject to a media frenzy and social exclusion.

Personally I took no real offence from those jokes for which I may justifiably have been a target - perhaps the experience of others was different.

A master of his craft!!

 

[okeydokey]

Not so sure about that. Didn’t you make your own explosives, throw fireworks at each other, play splits with the knives you regularly carried, played on building sites hollowing out stacks of bricks to make forts, …

Also us cubs and scouts carried knifes and no problems, I also remember taking fireworks to bits ramming contents down into a piece of pipe previously hammered flat and with a hole (for a fuse) and some lumps of chalk as a bullet then holding your cannon and firing at a wall. Sometimes the pipe split - how we were unharmed thinking about it I'll never know.

 

[Mickjay]

Not so sure about that. Didn’t you make your own explosives, throw fireworks at each other, play splits with the knives you regularly carried, played on building sites hollowing out stacks of bricks to make forts, …

You've just described my childhood, loved the building sites (adventure playground of the 60s). Most of us survived unscathed and the ones who didn't, natural selection in action.

 

[Doug B]

 

[geoff3]

not flamein funny

 

[stuart little]

Surely it wrecks your 78s

Ain't got any - I did once have one, "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling". It got binned.

 

[stuart little]

not flamein funny

I has a better idea :- Put Adolf S****** & his cronies in them!

 

[stuart little]

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Not if you were self-employed!

 

[Daibach]

Didn’t you make your own explosives,

Up until they put fire retardant in Sodium chlorate. (Weed killer and Sugar)
Spoilt our fun.

 

[Vulcan]

I must confess, I put a sign with this wording on the back of a toilet door where I worked once.

 

[Jaco]

Golf Course Membership

A Scottish Jew decided to retire and take up golf, so he applied for membership at a local golf club.

About a week later he received a letter that his application has been rejected. He went to the club to inquire as to why.

Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?

Scottish Jew: Aye, but I'm as Scottish as you are, ma'am, my name is MacTavishstien.

Secretary: Do you know that on formal occasions we wear a kilt?

Scottish Jew: Aye, I do know, and I wear a kilt too.

Secretary: You are also aware, that we wear nothing under the kilt?

Scottish Jew: Aye, and neither do I.

Secretary: Are you also aware, that the members sit naked in the steam room?

Scottish Jew: Aye, I also do the same.

Secretary: But you are a Jew?

Scottish Jew: Aye, I be that.

Secretary: So, being Jewish, you are circumcised, is that correct?

Scottish Jew: Aye, I be that, too.

Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable sitting in the steam room with you, since your privates are different from theirs.

Scottish Jew: Ach, I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to join the Knights of Columbus. But this is the first time I've heard that you have to be a complete prick to join a golf club!

 

[dzj]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]