RobinBHM
Established Member
I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to like that
I refuse to be spoken to like that
Joke thread
- Thread starter Noel
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RobinBHM
Established Member
My house was broken into recently, the burglar stole all my anti depressants.
All I can say is; I hope it makes him happy.
All I can say is; I hope it makes him happy.
Cozzer
Established Member
Up-skirting on a series of escalators.
Wrong, on so many levels...
Wrong, on so many levels...
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
flying haggis
Established Member
Cabinetman
Established Member
Christ, how big was your turkey? More like an emu!
Doug B
Shy Tot
Robbo3
Established Member
Once I had a date with a Dutch girl who wore inflatable footwear.
When I sought a second date, unfortunately I learned that she had popped her clogs.
When I sought a second date, unfortunately I learned that she had popped her clogs.
Robbo3
Established Member
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
Very funny, but fake.
Cozzer
Established Member
The saloon door creaked open, and much to the surprise of the drinking cowboys there, Roy Rogers staggered to the bar.
"Bartender", he sobbed, "Whisky. Leave the bottle..."
The bar keep looked stunned.
"But...but...Roy...you don't drink! You're a god-fearing, best-natured cowpoke who everybody loves..."
"Nope", choked Roy..."Not today".
The bar fell silent as they witnessed their hero sobbing and blubbing into his drink.
"Woe...woe..is me!" wailed Roy.
"Roy! Whatever's the matter? Can we help? This isn't like you!"
"Nobody can help me", cried Roy..."Nobody...."
It all got very emotional, and a few of the drinkers were seen to be dabbing their own eyes, such fans of the famous cowboy they were.
Roy finally pulled himself together to start recounting his grief...
"Trigger's gone. Had to put him out of his misery. My best ever friend, gone by my own hand..."
"Oh Roy!" cried the crowd, as if one."Not Trigger! Oh no, not Trigger!"
"Yup. Had rustlers during the night, and they managed to wound him, so I had to do the kindest deed!" wailed Roy.
"Lost all my cattle too! Every last head, gone"
"Oh no, Roy!" cried the crowd, many of them now as upset as Roy himself.
"Yup...and they got my dawg too! Killed it stone dead. My favourite, obedient dog!" sobbed Roy.
"Oh, not the dog too!" cried the crowd, now to a man in floods of tears.
"And that's not all," wailed Roy..."As I was out trying to find the bandits trail, the injuns came to the ranch...raped and killed the wife and kids and then set fire to the house..."
"OH GOD, NO! NO!! NOT THE WIFE, KIDS AND HOUSE TOO!" Never before had so many tears been shed in any saloon.
"I'm a broken man with no future!", wailed Roy."There's nothing left of me!"
Roy finished his bottle, and staggered towards the saloon door, leaving behind 20-odd hardened trail cowboys, all devastated for their most renowned cowboy hero. Most of them hadn't shed tears like this since the day their mothers had died...and most of them not even then.
As Roy reached the door, a voice behind shouted
"Hey! Roy! Sing us a song before you go!"
"Bartender", he sobbed, "Whisky. Leave the bottle..."
The bar keep looked stunned.
"But...but...Roy...you don't drink! You're a god-fearing, best-natured cowpoke who everybody loves..."
"Nope", choked Roy..."Not today".
The bar fell silent as they witnessed their hero sobbing and blubbing into his drink.
"Woe...woe..is me!" wailed Roy.
"Roy! Whatever's the matter? Can we help? This isn't like you!"
"Nobody can help me", cried Roy..."Nobody...."
It all got very emotional, and a few of the drinkers were seen to be dabbing their own eyes, such fans of the famous cowboy they were.
Roy finally pulled himself together to start recounting his grief...
"Trigger's gone. Had to put him out of his misery. My best ever friend, gone by my own hand..."
"Oh Roy!" cried the crowd, as if one."Not Trigger! Oh no, not Trigger!"
"Yup. Had rustlers during the night, and they managed to wound him, so I had to do the kindest deed!" wailed Roy.
"Lost all my cattle too! Every last head, gone"
"Oh no, Roy!" cried the crowd, many of them now as upset as Roy himself.
"Yup...and they got my dawg too! Killed it stone dead. My favourite, obedient dog!" sobbed Roy.
"Oh, not the dog too!" cried the crowd, now to a man in floods of tears.
"And that's not all," wailed Roy..."As I was out trying to find the bandits trail, the injuns came to the ranch...raped and killed the wife and kids and then set fire to the house..."
"OH GOD, NO! NO!! NOT THE WIFE, KIDS AND HOUSE TOO!" Never before had so many tears been shed in any saloon.
"I'm a broken man with no future!", wailed Roy."There's nothing left of me!"
Roy finished his bottle, and staggered towards the saloon door, leaving behind 20-odd hardened trail cowboys, all devastated for their most renowned cowboy hero. Most of them hadn't shed tears like this since the day their mothers had died...and most of them not even then.
As Roy reached the door, a voice behind shouted
"Hey! Roy! Sing us a song before you go!"
Peterm1000
Guest
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
Doug B
Shy Tot
selectortone
Still waking up not dead in the morning
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