Valhalla
Established Member
What do you mean - no brakes?
Joke Thread III
- Thread starter Sachakins
- Start date
Help Support UKworkshop.co.uk:
- Status
Valhalla
Established Member
woodhutt
Established Member
They used to say the same about Linda McCartney but she seemed to be the best thing that happened to PM. Better than that gold digger he wound up with later.
Actually I agree with ( ex girlfriend was a mate of the 4 and played session with them and loads of others well known ), she ( and others I met , told a totally fifferent story first hand about "the break up" to what was pushed by the media who were well racist re Yoko ) and liked this part.
But this
Easier to blame her, ( with the media's help ) than accept that John had got bored with being a Beatle, and considered that the person who he wanted to be with ( they were well fusional ) was more important than being a Beatle . Choice he was given was "her" or "them" he chose "her"..his life..it made him happy.
* A perfectly cromulent word.
But this
I disagree with..met her twice, and knew some who knew her very well, struck me as a nice lady, very intelligent, polycreative* and was subject of a whole pile of racist carp at the time and since.
Easier to blame her, ( with the media's help ) than accept that John had got bored with being a Beatle, and considered that the person who he wanted to be with ( they were well fusional ) was more important than being a Beatle . Choice he was given was "her" or "them" he chose "her"..his life..it made him happy.
* A perfectly cromulent word.
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
Doug B
Shy Tot
Cozzer
Established Member
Yes, really..Yoko is like marmite..I'm informed I am too..am I bovvered ..doubt she is either..
Bjork too.. long list..for "some reason" women get more stick from the men if they are intelligent and have creative talent.
Ever seen "Noh theatre" ..Yoko is from a different culture, draws on it, a lot of eastern performance includes shouting screaming and crying, some vocal styles and classical Japanese and Chinese music are very "screamy"..
Classical Opera is pretty screamy..joke in our house is the opera sopranos sound just like SWMBO when she sees a spider on the shower curtain.
Last edited:
Sounds like another not very well disguised personal attack on me from you..can't wait for yet another excuse about how it isn't , your last one ( remark from you about how often I was posting , followed by your reason for posting that was your supposed concern about my double slipped discs ) convinced no-one.That explains a lotBjork creative.
bit like the Oscars Lovies giving lovies credit where non is due.
https://www.ukworkshop.co.uk/threads/grrrrr-milwaukee-what-a-con.141796/post-1651260
Last edited:
Doug B
Shy Tot
Jameshow
Established Member
This sick squid was floating round the voodnorth sea, when it meets a great white shark the shark says to the squid I'll give you a lift to the Mediterranean what it's nice and warm!
Okay so squid but I'm going to eat me no not tool says a shark, no not all, so of they go to the nice warm Med and when we get there a shark finds a barracuda and says here is the six quid I owe you.
Okay so squid but I'm going to eat me no not tool says a shark, no not all, so of they go to the nice warm Med and when we get there a shark finds a barracuda and says here is the six quid I owe you.
llangatwgnedd
Established Member
Sorry
Not posted for a while.
Ive been to Clacton for two weeks.
I did check in but it was still running strong....
Has that Beatles discussion finished yet.....
And the three day documentary about sandal making..?
Seem to be more adverts in between jokes than during ITV blockbuster films.
Not posted for a while.
Ive been to Clacton for two weeks.
I did check in but it was still running strong....
Has that Beatles discussion finished yet.....
And the three day documentary about sandal making..?
Seem to be more adverts in between jokes than during ITV blockbuster films.
I say BS crazy, perhaps a tad unfair but she takes part in 'Freak Out' sessions in the doco, screaming into a microphone and it is very revealing
The only things King Charles and I have in common are that by noon on Saturday we will both be sat on our respective thrones.
He will be sat on his solid gold throne with a crown on his head ginning, while I will be sat on my throne at the bottom of the garden, with a stinking headache and throwing up from the celebrations the night before.
He will be sat on his solid gold throne with a crown on his head ginning, while I will be sat on my throne at the bottom of the garden, with a stinking headache and throwing up from the celebrations the night before.
Doug B
Shy Tot
I’ve seen this before but still made me chuckle
Cozzer
Established Member
Sorry, but can someone translate this for me, please?!
Inspector
Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck!
Really? Can't figure it out? Okay here it is.
It is a loose variation on the Fox and Scorpion fable and the added twist of a bad pun. Sick squid >>> sicks quid>>>six quid. Shark kept his word not eating the squid and paying his debt to the barracuda which gets to eat the squid. Doesn't help when the predictive spelling messes up.
Pete
woodhutt
Established Member
A grizzled old prospector arrives in town after six months alone in the hills panning for gold. He ties his mule to the hitching rail and walks into the saloon. The place is empty except for the bartender who is polishing glasses.
'Give me a shot of red eye,' he says to the bartender and swallows his drink. Then, looking around, he asks where all the saloon girls are as he has an itch he'd like to scratch.
'Sorry old timer,' says the bartender. 'The boys from the Bar-X rode in a couple of hours ago and took them all off to the ranch for a BBQ.' He paused for a moment, then added. 'There's Old Joe the town drunk passed out in the alley out back if your interested.'
The old feller shakes his head. 'No, I'm not like that. Give me another shot of red eye.'
After a few more shots of red eye he says to the bartender. 'You must have at least one saloon girl left. Old, fat, ugly, I don't mind.'
'Nothing,' says the bartender shaking his head. 'I told you, there's only Old Joe out the back.'
'No, I told you, I'm not like that.' says the old feller.
But, after a few more shots of red eye, he feels his itch getting stronger and he asks the bartender, confidingly, 'Look. I'm not like that really but if I was to go with Old Joe, who would know about it?'
The bartender thinks for a moment and says, 'Well, there'd just be the seven of us.'
'Seven!' exclaims the old timer, looking around the empty bar. 'How do you make that out?'
'Well,' says the bartender, 'there'd be you, me and Old Joe of course. Then the four blokes to hold him down because Old Joe's not like that either.'
'Give me a shot of red eye,' he says to the bartender and swallows his drink. Then, looking around, he asks where all the saloon girls are as he has an itch he'd like to scratch.
'Sorry old timer,' says the bartender. 'The boys from the Bar-X rode in a couple of hours ago and took them all off to the ranch for a BBQ.' He paused for a moment, then added. 'There's Old Joe the town drunk passed out in the alley out back if your interested.'
The old feller shakes his head. 'No, I'm not like that. Give me another shot of red eye.'
After a few more shots of red eye he says to the bartender. 'You must have at least one saloon girl left. Old, fat, ugly, I don't mind.'
'Nothing,' says the bartender shaking his head. 'I told you, there's only Old Joe out the back.'
'No, I told you, I'm not like that.' says the old feller.
But, after a few more shots of red eye, he feels his itch getting stronger and he asks the bartender, confidingly, 'Look. I'm not like that really but if I was to go with Old Joe, who would know about it?'
The bartender thinks for a moment and says, 'Well, there'd just be the seven of us.'
'Seven!' exclaims the old timer, looking around the empty bar. 'How do you make that out?'
'Well,' says the bartender, 'there'd be you, me and Old Joe of course. Then the four blokes to hold him down because Old Joe's not like that either.'
- Status
