I'll just stick to cows milk.
Joke Thread III
- Thread starter Sachakins
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Hey look I found the dead tree scrolls
Robbo3
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woodhutt
Established Member
Not a joke but a true story that happened to me a few years ago and still makes me laugh.
I got a call from a pal who said he'd just got a new dog and would I like to come over and take a look. I said I knew nothing about dogs but, at the mention of cold beer being on offer, I said I'd be right over.
When I got there, sure enough he'd just got himself a beautiful looking German Shepherd about 6 months old. When he asked what I thought I said it was a lovely looking animal but I didn't know why he wanted me to look at the dog as I know nothing about them.
'Oh, I don't want you to look at him,' he said. 'I want him to look at you.'
Then, crouching down next to dog, he pointed at me and said, 'Take good look at this bloke. This is what you'll end up looking like if you keep licking yourself.'
That cost him a few beers.
Pete
I got a call from a pal who said he'd just got a new dog and would I like to come over and take a look. I said I knew nothing about dogs but, at the mention of cold beer being on offer, I said I'd be right over.
When I got there, sure enough he'd just got himself a beautiful looking German Shepherd about 6 months old. When he asked what I thought I said it was a lovely looking animal but I didn't know why he wanted me to look at the dog as I know nothing about them.
'Oh, I don't want you to look at him,' he said. 'I want him to look at you.'
Then, crouching down next to dog, he pointed at me and said, 'Take good look at this bloke. This is what you'll end up looking like if you keep licking yourself.'
That cost him a few beers.
Pete
Heard this before, but substitute Harley Davidson for electric vehicle
Gave up after similar and switched to Jeep, never looked back. After all the original Land Rover was a Jeep, so why buy a copy when you can have the originalHaving had two Rangies and a Disco before I even decided to stop punishing myself, that's unfortunately NOT a joke!
The joke reminded me of the old Aussie one, " if you want to go into the outback, take a Land Rover. If you want to ever come back again take a Land Cruiser"
Once got in an elevator with a lady colleague. Couldn't resist pointing at the makers name on the floor and saying, "Schindler's lift". She was kind enough to at least appear to find it vaguely amusing.
Cozzer
Established Member
Used to be a joke going round regarding Otis lifts and having a branch in Reading (Berkshire).
Can't remember the joke, though.
That's good, then.
Glad I bothered to mention it!
woodhutt
Established Member
Something to do with Otis Redding (Dock of a Bay) perhaps?
Best joke this week!
Doug B
Shy Tot
stuart little
Established Member
A Ford.It was a donkey the first time I heard it.....
Cozzer
Established Member
The_Yellow_Ardvark
Established Member
That ( the Ford Donkey ) would presumably be the smaller version of the Bronco, but with the bigger external mirrors.
Or the Ford Mule which would refuse to budge , just because.
True..My neighbour has ordered an electric car ( Dacia Spring ), apart from the obvious drawback that it's range is at best 250km ( with nothing switched on such as lights, heater etc , windscreen wipers etc ) he paid for it 6 months ago, it is stuck at the docks at Marseille , ( 1300 kms from us ) no car transport truck drivers available to deliver it.Big shortage of HGV drivers in France. I volunteered to "temp",( I have an HGV licence ) but nope, being a self employed HGV Car transporter truck driver isn't on. He told me that when it finally arrives, he'll have to be careful not to run out of battery because he might be somewhere where there is not a charging station. But that he is not overly concerned as he could do what he usually does if he runs out of diesel in his VW caravel, he phones me and I take him a can of diesel. I pointed out that I can't take him a can of leccy, he said "what about jump leads", and if not "you could always give me a tow"..I decided that the "here is why neither of those options is on the table any more" can wait until he takes delivery, then I can explain how he needs to buy me a low loader with ramps and a winch. Or be prepared for some very "spendy" breakdown call out charges from "leccy car rescue companies" on his insurance.
Didn't want a hybrid.
Didn't want a hybrid.
woodhutt
Established Member
I guess if it didn't 'stick' then it's probably not worth remembering.Well, yes! I got that far, but it was the actual joke that I can't remember!
flying haggis
Established Member
that's a fairly common statement throughout scotland. I never knew it was a joke
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