Joke Thread III

[dzj]

 

[RobinBHM]

the parrot joke by Barry Cryer

 

[Noel]

Hello Keith. Best in 42 pages.

Loved Barry, esp Hamish and Dougal.

Staying with him and our feathered friends:

You know about the guy who shot a golden eagle. He was in court in front of a magistrate.
The magistrate said: "This is a dreadful thing".
He said: "I never intended to. I was shooting pheasants and it flew into my line of fire."
The magistrate said, "Okay. Out of interest, what did you do with it?"
He said: "I ate it."
The magistrate said: "Good god, what did it taste like?"

He replied: "Rather like swan".

 

[flying haggis]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[llangatwgnedd]

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 155717

View attachment 155717

Funny 'weird', but def. not 'funny ha ha!'

 

[stuart little]

Just like Wesley & Edie's house in Last of Summer Wine.

 

[Cozzer]

Funny 'weird', but def. not 'funny ha ha!'

Come on, Stuart....own up.

Which colour did you go for?

 

[stuart little]

Come on, Stuart....own up.

Which colour did you go for?

Never even considered one!

 

[RobinBHM]

there are 30 cows in a field................

 

[Phil Pascoe]

3.50s I'll never get back.

 

[Jameshow]

In parts of Wales, Swedish groups are banned if the space between their hands and forearms is too broad.

Sounds crazy, I know, but that's Abba wrist width for you.....

 

[niemeyjt]

In parts of Wales, Swedish groups are banned if the space between their hands and forearms is too broad.

Sounds crazy, I know, but that's Abba wrist width for you.....

If Benny and Bjorn had been called Sid and Dave we'd have had ASDA years earlier.

 

[Yorkieguy]

TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH!

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BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with one of two different custom devices, a BINDER or DOUBLE STICH BINDING, which keep the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density.

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You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool - the: Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus. (‘PENCILS’).

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[Ozi]

Never even considered one!

Got the set then?

 

[bushwhaker]

Can will be funny for someone?

 

[Amateur]

From this morning Sky news.

No doubt stood there for five hours in his string vest and matching underpants on a snow covered mountain with temperatures at minus 10 degrees waiting to pounce.
Sounds about right Gwyneth.