Joke Thread II

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Found these today:-
A builder finds a skeleton in a cupboard with a sign around his neck; '1923 hide & seek Champion.'


The Belgian truck driver who drove to Calais, but on seeing the sign; 'Pas de Calais', turned back!


A woman walks into a pub carrying a duck & orders a couple of beers. The barman asks; "What are you doing with that pig?"
"It's a duck not a pig!"
"Pardon me, I WAS talking to the duck!"

#ths all ffolks#
 
My Gran rang the police saying she'd had a chat to the bloke next door who had told her he was a local vigilante and that he was on his way to the local school to lock fifty kids in the school gym.
The police armed response team surrounded the school and then entered the gym, where they rescued fifty or so kids.
Questioning the vigilante at the station he confirmed he did have a conversation with my Gran,
Explaining that he was an invigilator holding fifty kids in the gym at the local comprehensive school during an exam.

The police thanked my gran for her vigilance to which she said, "I lost that many moons ago"
 
Found these today:-
A builder finds a skeleton in a cupboard with a sign around his neck; '1923 hide & seek Champion.'


The Belgian truck driver who drove to Calais, but on seeing the sign; 'Pas de Calais', turned back!


A woman walks into a pub carrying a duck & orders a couple of beers. The barman asks; "What are you doing with that pig?"
"It's a duck not a pig!"
"Pardon me, I WAS talking to the duck!"

#ths all ffolks#
Don’t understand any of those Stuart.
 
Ironically the Belgian one lost me 🙁

In the pre-PC days, French people would tell "Belgian" jokes in the same way English would tell Irish jokes, (and US-Polish, and most other nations having something similar...).

The joke is a play on words in the French language. The Pas de Calais is a region in Northern France. "Pas de.." is also a way of saying no to something. Eg "pas de moutarde" would mean "no mustard" if you were ordering a sandwich.
 
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