Joke Thread II

[Jameshow]

What did the frog do when it broke down??

It got toad home.....!!!!

 

[dzj]

 

[Droogs]

What do you call an armidillo with leprosy




















dillo

 

[mikej460]

What did the frog do when it broke down??

It got toad home.....!!!!

soon be Christmas....

 

[Jameshow]

soon be Christmas....

Don't remind me got to get a shift on with Santa sleigh!!

 

[dzj]

 

[Alex H]

 

[Alex H]

 

[user 38384]

 

[user 38384]

Sorry Stuart, Star Wars again….

 

[stuart little]

Punchline obscured so it's not seen by accident.

2 AM. The telephone rings,

"Hello, Señor Joe? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house in Palm Desert.”

“Yes Ernesto, I know who you are, what the hell are you doing calling me at this time? It’s 2AM here.”

“Yes, I’m sorry señor, I’m calling to tell you that your parrot, he is dead.”

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”

"Si, señor, that's the one.”

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird.
What did he die from?”

"From eating the rotten meat, señor.”

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”

"Nobody, señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”

"Dead horse? What dead horse?”

"Your horse, Señor Joe.”

"My horse is dead? How did he die?”

"Yes, Señor Joe , we think he died from exhaustion from all that work pulling the water cart.”

"Pulling a water cart? He was a thoroughbred Arab stallion and you had him pull a water cart? Are you insane? What water cart?”

"The one we needed to put out the fire, señor.”

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?”

"The one at your house, señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.”

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?”

"Si, señor.”

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?”

"For the funeral, señor.”

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!”

"Your wife's, Señor Joe, Señora Johanna.

"My wife is dead ? How did she die? Did you have her jumping fences?"

"She came home very late one night and I thought she was a burglar, so I hit her with a golf club. Your new Honma Beres driver had just arrived, and it was on the hall table, so I picked it up and hit her with it. I’m sorry, señor.

SILENCE………..

LONG SILENCE………

VERY LONG SILENCE…………

Spoiler

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep s***

Saw that one coming guys!!!!! So no ' ' this time!! HA! HA!

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 139440

 

[stuart little]

Sorry Stuart, Star Wars again….

Yeah - I know!

 

[guineafowl21]

Swiss Army scythe.

Are you from the past?

 

[stuart little]

Swiss Army scythe.

Are you from the past?

Yup, I'm from 1945, just having a senior moment I guess . Never thought of that, but, I did note the ice-axe bit!

 

[user 38384]

 

[Jameshow]

View attachment 139486

 

[user 38384]

Excellent!

 

[Sachakins]

My brother to a statistical T [squared]

 

[Doug B]