Joke Thread II

[treeturner123]

Hoovering in the dark reminds me of:-

Some time ago, the gentleman who lived at the back of us used to cut his large lawn in the dark ie after 11.00pm, using an electric mower with a car headlight on it. It turned out he was using the old 'Night Storage' rate electricity!

Absolutely true!

Phil

 

[SamG340]

View attachment 134391

Straight over my head ?

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

Straight over my head ?

Yeap mine too. What is that thing he's holding? Some sort of portable beer dispenser? I know just how much musicians love their beer.

 

[Thingybob]

Straight over my head ?

How old are you ?

 

[Daniel2]

Straight over my head ?

80's pop group:
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark (OMD).

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

Old enough to remember the band! And young enough still to be cheeky

 

[Thingybob]

80's pop group:
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark (OMD).

Cant believe it has to be explained

 

[Thingybob]

Anyway back to the jokes please

 

[Morag Jones]

Another classic from Simon Drew:

Dance of the seven whales

 

[SamG340]

How old are you ?

12

 

[MikeK]

12

Hmm...then we must delete your account. The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act prohibits anyone under the age of 13 from creating an online account without parental or guardian approval.

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

Is this bones age or brain (I.e acting) age because if it's the latter there will be very few left!

 

[SamG340]

Hmm...then we must delete your account. The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act prohibits anyone under the age of 13 from creating an online account without parental or guardian approval.

Mummy and daddy said it was ok

 

[SamG340]

I'm only joking I'm an adult , but in comparison to most of you lot I'm just a lad lol !!

 

[Thingybob]

Mummy and daddy said it was ok

Anything to keep him quiet

 

[Thingybob]

I'm only joking I'm an adult , but in comparison to most of you lot I'm just a lad lol !!

Yea but we learnt our tips and tricks without the aid of youtube back when wood were cheap

 

[Jameshow]

Any jokes!!

 

[JimJay]

I'm only joking I'm an adult , but in comparison to most of you lot I'm just a lad lol !!

"A man is as old as the woman he feels"...or so I've been told.

 

[SamG340]

Yea but we learnt our tips and tricks without the aid of youtube back when wood were cheap

Yea Im jealous ! Also bit envious of your bus pass bets that's useful

 

[AES]

Anything to keep him quiet

OK, I'll start (again!) Thingybob.

I DID understand OMD, 'onest, but what I didn't understand was the piccy joke a few posts above the OMD, which showed some "cook fella" (forget his name) with a picture of a pizza, with, I think, bits of sliced banana on top. And the cook fella was calling the police!

So what was THAT all about? Was it "just" that you don't normally put sliced banana on pizza? (But if you can have pineapple on pizza, why not banana)? But anyway, if that was really the "joke" then I must say I found it pretty weak (not that anyone should care about that)!