Bob Chapman
Established Member
NOT funny!
Joke Thread 5
- Thread starter Noel
- Start date
Help Support UKworkshop.co.uk:
Jaco
Established Member
ey_tony
Established Member
Yes I see where you're coming from, I should have added an anti-woke warning!
Get a life.
Tony is taking a 28 day holiday from this thread to contemplate his values in a modern society.
Puggers
Established Member
Sgian Dubh
Established Member
Can't freeze a brain when there's no brain to freeze. Slainte.
Jaco
Established Member
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied:
"Your Honour, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?
HE WON THE CASE.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied:
"Your Honour, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?
HE WON THE CASE.
Jaco
Established Member
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching ."
Dad says, "What?" At your age I didn't even know what was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching ."
Dad says, "What?" At your age I didn't even know what was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale
Perhaps 'Junior sized' would have been a better description
Chris Harris
Member
- Joined
- 22 Jun 2023
- Messages
- 17
- Reaction score
- 10
Thank you - I didn't get it either
Doug B
Shy Tot
niall Y
Established Member
Didn't work for me either despite knowing the song. It might have been lost in translation as I know the condition as " ice headache", rather than " brain freeze., which to me has other connotations.Thank you - I didn't get it either
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
"Ice cream head" surely? Well, that's what it is here in surf land.
Doug B
Shy Tot
Jaco
Established Member
The Flight Attendant...
The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple
on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
“Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking!
There is a very pretty, hot & sexy looking female passenger
on board, who looks sad & quite frightened.
The man sitting beside her is a fat old slob, who looks like a lech,
very sullen, mean, and dangerous!"
The captain responds...,
“Patricia, I’ve told you this before. This is Air Force One...”
The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple
on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
“Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking!
There is a very pretty, hot & sexy looking female passenger
on board, who looks sad & quite frightened.
The man sitting beside her is a fat old slob, who looks like a lech,
very sullen, mean, and dangerous!"
The captain responds...,
“Patricia, I’ve told you this before. This is Air Force One...”
Similar threads
