Joke Thread 5

[RobinBHM]

The recent budget has caused real damage to my local economy…..


A local bra manufacturer has gone bust
a submarine company has gone under,
a manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation,
a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers and a company supplying paper for origami enthusiasts has folded.

Our local strip club has gone **** up,
Interflora is pruning its business and Dyno-rod has gone down the drain.

The saddest one though is the ice cream van man found dead covered in nuts and raspberry sauce. He couldn't take it any more and topped himself

 

[John Brown]

I suspect it was a bit earlier than that. We had a VCR in about '76. The tapes were one hour and cost about £17 - no timer on the machine, which was top loading.

You may well be right, I was merely pointing out an earlier post on the subject.

 

[Vulcan]

 

[Cozzer]

Postal orders could be adjusted upwards in value, by having stamps affixed.

Yes...presumably still can? (In fact, do they still exist?)

The cheque stamps were literally stamp "duty"....think it finished just after decimalisation, 71-ish...

 

[Doug B]

 

[John Brown]

Yes...presumably still can? (In fact, do they still exist?)

The cheque stamps were literally stamp "duty"....think it finished just after decimalisation, 71-ish...

I do not remember that. I didn't have a bank account in 71, so I used to sign the back of my pay cheque and the landlord of my local would give me the cash. I doubt you could do that these days.

 

[Chubber]

I was still away with the Navy in the Far East a month after decimal coinage was introduced in U.K. and shall never forget when, on my return I went to the Coop with the new fangled ickkies and had to be helped at the till by the young cashier.

I heard one old lady say to another "Aw, shame isn't it, he seems like a nice boy too..."

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[Stuart1953]

Talking of "the old days", does anyone remember the time when you had to stick a postage stamp on your cheque?
Come to think, when did you last write a cheque?!

I can

 

[Robbo3]

Sometimes

Sometimes...when you cry, no one sees your tears.

Sometimes...when you are in pain, no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes...when you are worried, no one sees your stress.

Sometimes...when you are happy, no one sees your smile.

But fart just ONE TIME!

--
That reminds me of the joke about Stavros, who lived on a small Greek island.

He had a beautiful olive grove and smallholding, he was a great builder, cabinet maker, boatbuider. He was in the bar one night when a tourist started to talk to him, and asked his name.
I'm Stavros the ....... well, Im the best farmer on the island and do they call me Stavros the farmer? No.
I grow the best olives. Do they call me Stavros the olive grower? No.
I build the best houses and make the best furniture. Do they call me Stavros the builder or Stavros the cabinet maker? No.
I build the best boats. Do they call me Stavros the boat builder? No.
.......... but one sheep, just one...

 

[artie]

..

 

[kinverkid]

 

[Phill05]

View attachment 193304

You forgot to put a name to the faces!!!!

 

[Vulcan]

You forgot to put a name to the faces!!!!

I thought that was going a bit too far.

 

[Thingybob]

Good call, could be.

I was always told it sounded better saying 19s and 6p than £20 psychological cheeper now a days 99p ie £19.99p

 

[John Brown]

I was always told it sounded better saying 19s and 6p than £20 psychological cheeper now a days 99p ie £19.99p

Indeed, but 18s is not 19/6d or 19/11d.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

I was always told it sounded better saying 19s and 6p than £20 psychological cheeper now a days 99p ie £19.99p

The original reason apparently was to ensure the person serving had to open the till to get the change - if it was a round pound or whatever they could pocket it as soon as the customer turned their back.

 

[Terry - Somerset]

The original reason apparently was to ensure the person serving had to open the till to get the change - if it was a round pound or whatever they could pocket it as soon as the customer turned their back.

This may be true.

In a Saturday job many years ago I heard tell of a sales assistant who went to work in the morning with a pocket full of pennies and sixpences. Came home in the evening with a pocket full of £5 and £10 notes, never having opened the till.

"I'll just go and get your change, Sir/Madam".

 

[John Brown]

The original reason apparently was to ensure the person serving had to open the till to get the change - if it was a round pound or whatever they could pocket it as soon as the customer turned their back.

I've heard that story before, and I think it may have some validity, but I also think the 19/6d thing predated "smart" cash registers.

 

[selectortone]

The original reason apparently was to ensure the person serving had to open the till to get the change - if it was a round pound or whatever they could pocket it as soon as the customer turned their back.

My Mum told me it was the psychologically cheaper thing. And as you know, Mother is always right.