Joke Thread 5
- Thread starter Noel
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A short story, from the pen of Mr Barry Cryer, about a woman who buys a parrot from a dockside pub and when she gets it home, it won't stop swearing at her. So her husband went to see the landlord to see if he had any ideas...
"Every time it swears at you put it in the fridge for ten minutes" he says, "it doesn't like the cold"
So the next time the parrot swore at them the husband picked it up and put it in the fridge and shut the door...
...quarter of an hour passed and the husband opens the fridge door and there's the parrot hugging itself and shivering uncontrollably, it's beak has gone blue...
"Now are you going to behave yourself now?" says the husband, the parrot just looks up at him meekly and nods it's head...
"No more swearing OK ?" the parrot nods it's agreement, the husband holds his hand out and the parrot hops on his finger.
...he sits staring at the husband then beckons him to come closer, the husband places his ear next to the parrots beak and the parrot whispers in his ear...
"What the **** did that chicken do ?"
"Every time it swears at you put it in the fridge for ten minutes" he says, "it doesn't like the cold"
So the next time the parrot swore at them the husband picked it up and put it in the fridge and shut the door...
...quarter of an hour passed and the husband opens the fridge door and there's the parrot hugging itself and shivering uncontrollably, it's beak has gone blue...
"Now are you going to behave yourself now?" says the husband, the parrot just looks up at him meekly and nods it's head...
"No more swearing OK ?" the parrot nods it's agreement, the husband holds his hand out and the parrot hops on his finger.
...he sits staring at the husband then beckons him to come closer, the husband places his ear next to the parrots beak and the parrot whispers in his ear...
"What the **** did that chicken do ?"
Might be something in this. The word ejaculation is used eleven times in Wuthering Heights. Got to be a Yorkshire thing.
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