A Farmer in Yorkshire sees a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts;
"Ey up cock! Tha dunt wanna be drinkin watta from theer, it's full o hoss piss an cow *****!"
The man shouts back,
"I'm sorry what was that? I'm from London, can you speak bit clearer please."
The Farmer replies,
"IF YOU USE TWO HANDS YOU WONT SPILL ANY!"