Joke Thread 5

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Jaco]

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears;
“ You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side
You know what?”
“What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
”I think you’re bad luck.”

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Doug B]

 

[DRC]

View attachment 188630

The joke is ?????????

 

[Cobbs]

The joke is ?????????

According to tradition, a Muslim martyr goes to heaven to find 72 (?) virgins waiting for him. Though in the case of an exploding pager, it would be hard to argue a case for martydom, as it would be involuntary, so probably not a joke after all...

 

[Cordy]

The Labour party is starting to feel the heat.

Unlike pensioners this winter.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Cozzer]

"Oh....and a jar of marmalade, please...."
"Thick cut?"
"Charming! No need for that attitude!"

 

[Puggers]

 

[Noel]

Clue to the above before anyone asks - Liverpool.