Joke Thread 5

[SammyQ]

View attachment 187926

"Beaten". Tut tut. Blasted Colonists and their laziness.

 

[Doug B]

 

[AES]

I still have one, and a book of five figure log tables.

Yeah, me too. But use it these days? Nah

 

[Sachakins]

Yeah, me too. But use it these days? Nah

They are such important books to keep. Couldn't do without mine. They are just right thickness to stop my table wobbling.........

 

[MikeJhn]

Bit like the old slide rule. After leaving college & starting an apprenticeship, I never had a use for one, it was put away for a couple of decades, until being rediscovered during a move. I looked at it, read all the old 'crib' notes, could not remember how the hell to use it! Binned it - probably worth a fortune now!

I still have my Faber Castell, log table not needed, turn the slide rule over and the Trig for the number on the font is on the back of the slide, if I remember correctly, Scientific calculator has made me lazy.

 

[JAW911]

Time for joke thread 6?

 

[stuart little]

Right then, where shall I begin?

 

[GuitardoctorW7]

English class at School, and teacher asks the children to make up a short phrase or saying using the word Timbuktu, she gives them 15 mins.
After the requisite time she canvasses the class for their results. The swot of the class, 'Jacob ' (other swot names are available) stands up and gracefully orates ..... " Out upon the desert sands, rode the lonely Caravan. Underneath the sky so blue, its destination, Timbuktu."
Trying to avoid the frantic "Miss, Miss, me Miss" from the tearaway of the class, she gets no other offers and regretfully lets little Johnny stand up and announce...
"Me and Tim a fishing went. Saw three ladies in a tent. Them being three and us being two, I bucked one and Timbuktu"

 

[Sachakins]

My second favourite Turner, after Sam Angelo the Wyomingwoodturner.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Thingybob]

WTF is Tailor Swift?

A guy that makes suits very fast

 

[Thingybob]

I can't say as I've listened to any 21st circa music, my collection finished off about mid-nineties. I just lost interest, much more other 'stuff' of interest now.

I have got a couple of tins of gramophone needles if you would like them

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Useful for making marking gauges.

 

[Doug B]

 

[Yorkieguy]

The best selling singer in the world.

And the wealthiest.

A few 'factoids':

Taylor Swift is a 'one -woman money machine', now worth an estimated $1.3 billion – up from $1.1 billion in October and $740 million on the 2023 ‘Self-Made Women’ list. The boost last Autumn came as a result of the first leg of her Eras Tour, which added an estimated $300 million to her fortune.

That's more than the GDP of each of the bottom 12 of 177 countries globally.

EG Grenada (population 17,000) GDP: $1.26 billion.

https://www.worldometers.info/gdp/gdp-by-country/

Her fans are called 'Swifties', of which there is an estimated 58 million aged over 18 in the USA alone

https://metro.co.uk/2024/06/06/many-fans-taylor-swift-20986907/

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]