Joke Thread 4 (closed).
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stuart little
Established Member
No wonder non-natives have difficulty with our language!
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
Not just non-natives..No wonder non-natives have difficulty with our language!
Reminded me of an imprint I saw on a building in London a while back, unfortunately I didn't catch the deceased remains lying on the pavement below.
Unsure whether the beak actually chipped the glass or not, the building since has been demolished !
Phill05
Established Member
Ok, ok which one of you has eaten the coffee cream.
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It's worse than that, much, much worse. Scandalous, poor woman is shocked, shocked I tell you.
sploo
Somewhat extinguished member
A former boss, on leaving an interview with a potential job candidate, once described the person to me simply as "a waste of oxygen".I know of a reference the guy i was working for sent about another employee.
"Given the choice between employing Alan, or employing a monkey, I would choose the monkey every time."
Robbo3
Established Member
Jaco
Established Member
A good way of starting 2024 - enhancing your financial expertise
======================================================
MARRIAGE IS A BUY AND HOLD ASSET - WALL STREET VERSION.
A woman posted a message saying on the New York Financial Times Newspaper asking for advice on how to find a millionaire husband.
This is the Message the woman wrote:
"I am a beautiful girl (I would say very beautiful) 25 years old, well-educated and I have class. I want to marry someone who makes at least a million dollars a year.
Do you have any men on this portal who make over $500,000 a year? Maybe the wives of those who make that can give me some advice.
I've been dating men who make 200-250k, but I can't go over that and 250 k isn't going to get me to live on Hudson Yards.
I know a woman, from my yoga class, who married a banker and lives in Tribeca and she is neither as pretty as me nor smart.
So what did she do that I didn't? How can I get to her level.
Millionaire's answer:
"I read your query with great interest, thought carefully about your case and made an analysis of the situation. First of all, I am not wasting your time, since I earn more than 500 thousand per year.
Having clarified this, I consider the facts as follows: What you are offering……seen from the perspective of a man like the one you are looking for: is simply a lousy deal.
Here's Why: Putting aside all the detours, what you are proposing is a simple business deal. You provide the physical beauty and I provide the money. Clear proposal, no loopholes.
However, there is a problem. For sure, your beauty will decline and one day it will end. Whereas, most likely my money will continue to grow.
So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset and I am a dividend-yielding asset. Furthermore you only suffer depreciation.
To clarify further, you are 25 years old today and you will continue to be beautiful for the next 5, 10, to maybe 20 years; but always a little less beautiful each year.
This means that you are now *”on the rise,”* ……… an ideal time to be sold, not to be bought.
Using Wall Street parlance, whoever has it today must have it in a *”trading position",* and not in a *"buy and hold",* which, unfortunately, is what you are offering.
Therefore, still in commercial terms, the marriage with you is not a good business deal in the medium or long term. But *renting* it can be a reasonable business in commercial terms……that you and I can and discuss.
I think that by certifying how *"well formed, classy and wonderfully beautiful"* it is…….. I, the probable future renter of that *"machine",* would want what is common practice: To have a test drive in order to finalize the operation.
In short: As buying is a bad deal due to its increasing devaluation, I propose to rent it for as long as the equipment is in good use. Waiting to hear from you…..!
Source: New York Financial Times.
======================================================
MARRIAGE IS A BUY AND HOLD ASSET - WALL STREET VERSION.
A woman posted a message saying on the New York Financial Times Newspaper asking for advice on how to find a millionaire husband.
This is the Message the woman wrote:
"I am a beautiful girl (I would say very beautiful) 25 years old, well-educated and I have class. I want to marry someone who makes at least a million dollars a year.
Do you have any men on this portal who make over $500,000 a year? Maybe the wives of those who make that can give me some advice.
I've been dating men who make 200-250k, but I can't go over that and 250 k isn't going to get me to live on Hudson Yards.
I know a woman, from my yoga class, who married a banker and lives in Tribeca and she is neither as pretty as me nor smart.
So what did she do that I didn't? How can I get to her level.
Millionaire's answer:
"I read your query with great interest, thought carefully about your case and made an analysis of the situation. First of all, I am not wasting your time, since I earn more than 500 thousand per year.
Having clarified this, I consider the facts as follows: What you are offering……seen from the perspective of a man like the one you are looking for: is simply a lousy deal.
Here's Why: Putting aside all the detours, what you are proposing is a simple business deal. You provide the physical beauty and I provide the money. Clear proposal, no loopholes.
However, there is a problem. For sure, your beauty will decline and one day it will end. Whereas, most likely my money will continue to grow.
So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset and I am a dividend-yielding asset. Furthermore you only suffer depreciation.
To clarify further, you are 25 years old today and you will continue to be beautiful for the next 5, 10, to maybe 20 years; but always a little less beautiful each year.
This means that you are now *”on the rise,”* ……… an ideal time to be sold, not to be bought.
Using Wall Street parlance, whoever has it today must have it in a *”trading position",* and not in a *"buy and hold",* which, unfortunately, is what you are offering.
Therefore, still in commercial terms, the marriage with you is not a good business deal in the medium or long term. But *renting* it can be a reasonable business in commercial terms……that you and I can and discuss.
I think that by certifying how *"well formed, classy and wonderfully beautiful"* it is…….. I, the probable future renter of that *"machine",* would want what is common practice: To have a test drive in order to finalize the operation.
In short: As buying is a bad deal due to its increasing devaluation, I propose to rent it for as long as the equipment is in good use. Waiting to hear from you…..!
Source: New York Financial Times.
That's nothing in comparison to the difficulties many supposedly native speakers have with English.....No wonder non-natives have difficulty with our language!
stuart little
Established Member
I wonder if he ever got a reply?
Highly likely…
Cozzer
Established Member
Rumour has it that Alaska Airlines are going to nick the current Virgin Atlantic slogan, "See the world differently".
The views are quite stunning, especially from around 16,000 feet...
The views are quite stunning, especially from around 16,000 feet...
bushwhaker
Established Member
Wales mouse love tidying.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-67902966
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-67902966
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