A warning to all.

[tinytim1458]

I have just found out today that because I did not sweep my floor good enough today and did not put a magazine back in it's rack when she said even though I was reading it at the time she has given the whole contents of my workshop away for free to someone I do not know who comes tomorrow to pick it all up so she can turn it into her planting shed and relaxing place.
She has been hinting for ages that I spent to much time in there, though I am lucky if am able to spend as much as an hour a week in there due to ongoing health conditions.
She wants to pin me to my disability seat so she knows where I am and that I am safe as she calls it.
Great for her I suppose.
Oh well at least I can research how to take my own life stuck in a chair on my mobile phone as long as she let's me keep that.
An unhappy no longer woodworker or woodturner.

 

[heatherw]

Tiny Tim, can't you talk to your wife about this? I don't know what your situation is, but I find it hard to imagine a relationship where something like that could happen. Perhaps you're letting yourself be seen as a victim and are being treated accordingly? Anyway, if someone arrives to pick up stuff can't you just say that it's yours not hers and that it's not going anywhere? Why is it that you can't say anything? Stand up for yourself, please, I need to come back from work to find out that you've done something about this.

Best of luck and power to you,

Heather

 

[Jacob]

Sounds a bit grim Tim.
Just say no. You have rights too. And you probably have more power than you think, to run your life. What about counselling (for the wife) - or if you mean it about topping yourself start with the Samaritans.

 

[Steve Maskery]

Hi Tim
I don't have a suggestion, but I just wanted you to know that people are rooting for you.
Under different circumstances, admittedly, I lost my workshop as a result of my wife's decisions, and that is the hardest thing I've had to endure. I'm not up and running again yet, nearly two years on.
But that property is yours, taking it away without your permission is theft.
If I lived closer I'd come round to see you.
S

 

[smoggy49]

The Shed that eternal icon of male solitude and independence. Away from the order of the house, the shed play,s an important role in the male psyche. Tell your wife to potter off its a man's right to have one like Steve Id be there tomorrow as well if work and geography permitted !

 

[woodshavings]

Tim,
Call your local Citizens Advice (08444 111 444), and explain what has happened. Its obviously a delicate situation, but they should be able of offer help/advice directly or refer you to an organisation who can.
John

 

[mailee]

Pack her cases and show her the door! No way would I put up with that! Surely there is some sort of compromise to this situation? This is like her cutting off your arms.

 

[Cowboy _Builder]

I'd like to belive that TT is being honest ,but it seems like drastic action for such a minor offence .... I may be a bit of a sceptic but I seem to recall that he had a few thing donated in the past and was thought to be selling them on , now perhaps he wants to pack up woodworking and is using this as an excuse in case anyone was to ask what happened to his tools .
I just find it hard to belive that anyone would give someones tools away without permission .
There is more to this story than we are privy to .....even the most generous of us would at least ask for a small donation to a local charity for a shed full of tools.

I don't know Tim and wish him well in the future and I really hope i'm wrong :? !!!

 

[marcus]

I just find it hard to belive that anyone would give someones tools away without permission .

I don't, people do all sorts of strange things. Not everyone is well balanced or rational.

I just wanted you to know that people are rooting for you.

+1. You need those things. Don't let her get away with it. They are yours and you don't have to let whoever is coming take them. I second the suggestion to give the CAB a ring and explain the situation.

 

[nanscombe]

Does the adage "What's yours is mine, what's mine's my own" apply when you have a partner? :shock:

 

[Glynne]

Nigel,

I think that quote is part of the bride's vows?

 

[Racers]

Change the lock on the shed and hide the keys.

Pete

 

[wizard]

Tim you say you spend less than an hour a week in the shed, in another post you say your short of money so sell the tools on eBay. You seem fed up with life so find something you can do. (Mod Edit). I am disabled and short of money and things go wrong but I get on with it and do not tell the world about it.

 

[powertools]

From the tone of most of the replies to this thread I suspect that none of you have ever had to take on the role of carer for a loved one.
Without going into too much detail I spent most of the 1980’s and early 1990’s being just that as well as being the bread winner and I can tell you that it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
There were times out of pure frustration and exhaustion I said things I did not mean.
There is a lot more help and support out there now than there was in the 1980’s and it sounds to me as if you and your wife both need to step back and seek some support that could give her some free time each week to put herself first.
It is all too easy for the cared for to forget the needs of the carer.

 

[marcus]

It is all too easy for the cared for to forget the needs of the carer.

Fair point; my first reaction was based on what would I feel if someone did that to MY tools, but relationships are more complex and two sided than first reactions admit....

 

[doctor Bob]

What exactly are you warning us about?

1/ sweeping up properly
2/ putting magazines away
3/ annoying the wife
4/ gardeners

I'm a bit confused?

 

[Nick Gibbs]

From the tone of most of the replies to this thread I suspect that none of you have ever had to take on the role of carer for a loved one.
Without going into too much detail I spent most of the 1980’s and early 1990’s being just that as well as being the bread winner and I can tell you that it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
There were times out of pure frustration and exhaustion I said things I did not mean.
There is a lot more help and support out there now than there was in the 1980’s and it sounds to me as if you and your wife both need to step back and seek some support that could give her some free time each week to put herself first.
It is all too easy for the cared for to forget the needs of the carer.

This is ever so sad. I met Tim a few times, and visited his workshop. Woodwork is such an important therapy for many people, but being a carer with small children must also be so difficult. Best wishes to all concerned. If only there was more the rest of us could do to help.

Nick

 

[custard]

This post has made me think.

If you're a disabled woodworker in the South Hampshire area (say between Southampton and Bournemouth or anywhere in the New Forest) and you'd like some assistance with your woodwork, then send me an email and I'll try to help.

I've a lathe, bandsaw, panel saw, planer thicknesser, vacuum veneer press, spindle moulder, etc. So I can dimension your wood, help you source timber, or support with whatever other woodworking problems you have.

 

[dunbarhamlin]

=D>

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Reading that post again, I suspect the omissions are saying more than the words. It's more than a little scary, I hope everything works out OK.