Tris
What am I doing here?
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A giraffe eating cherries
A giraffe eating cherries
Joke thread
- Thread starter Noel
- Start date
Help Support UKworkshop.co.uk:
- Status
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
What's a giraffe doing in the jungle?
bushwhaker
Established Member
Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.
Therefore, every day I go down on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do tomorrow night.
Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening and spending time in my pool. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.
And it works!
I already have three people following me... two police officers and a psychiatrist!
Therefore, every day I go down on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do tomorrow night.
Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening and spending time in my pool. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.
And it works!
I already have three people following me... two police officers and a psychiatrist!
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
Looking for cherries.
stuart little
Established Member
Oh yes they did!
Indeed. But this is a global trait. In England, we do it to the Irish. In Europe, it's Belgium that cops it. Australia does the same to New Zealand. In New Zealand, it's North Island v South Island
Always one country (or part thereof) vs. a smaller neighbour.
What (to my mind) distinguishes a good Newfie joke (if we're allowed any) is the double punchline. For example, in brief:
Housebuilding. Builder throws half of the nails away. Asked why, "Because the've got the heads on the wrong end."
"Dumbo. They are the nails for the other side of the building."
[It's not so much the joke; it's the way you tell it.]
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
I had some years ago a huge paperback of the world's racist and unPC jokes. The author stated at the beginning that virtually ever joke recurs in some form all over the world.
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
Reminiscent of the blonde joke - A blonde sees another blonde on opposite river bank. How do I get over there? she shouts. What? comes the reply, you are over there.
Jonm
Established Member
It’s not that old, I can remember crossing to Wales on the car ferry and glimpsing the new bridge under construction through the mist.
67 - the sister is three years younger
Pineapple
Established Member
Her Sister is 67 now.
Jonm
Established Member
Not necessarily, it depends on your definition of age. If the measurement is in years then the age difference is anything between “1 year and 1 day” to “1 year and 364 days“. The younger sister will be aged between “66 and 1 day” to “68 and 364 days”. Also, whilst the older sister is 70 the younger sisters age will change from “66 to 67“ or from “67 to 68“, unless they we’re born on the same day and month.
I think that is correct, without checking it on paper.
Rustic Mike
Established Member
If you walk backwards in flip flops, would they be flop flips.How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Open the door & shove it in!
How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?
First take out the elephant, then put the giraffe in!
Jonm
Established Member
More like crash, bang, wallop.
Audience, all together now: OH NO THEY DIDN'T!Oh yes they did!
Meanwhile in another thread the earth is suffering from global warming but its the English way have a laugh on the way All togeather now ( when your smiling .........)
Ahhh. The joys of Gander International Airport. I was stuck in there for 3 days once during a blizzard...
There's a lot of interesting history around that airport...
- Status
