Joke Thread III
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MorrisWoodman12
Established Member
Oooooo! Methinks you'll get cashiered for that one. 
Reminds me of the days when all the motor factors seemed to employ attractive young ladies to deliver stuff, generally known as "parts tarts"
One of my all time favourite quotes "better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt".
Jameshow
Established Member
Or the British road race which was sponsored by Kellogg's and had a breakfast toastie called poptart which I linked to the podium girls.....Reminds me of the days when all the motor factors seemed to employ attractive young ladies to deliver stuff, generally known as "parts tarts"
This one has been around for a while.
"Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues."
Prov 17:28 (NIV)
This dates back some 2,500 years.
I like a more pithy version: "Save face - keep lower half shut".
Doug B
Shy Tot
MorrisWoodman12
Established Member
This one needs a Stuart! 
Doug B
Shy Tot
Doug B
Shy Tot
Cozzer
Established Member
Here's one from my archives!
It's supposedly true... I'd forgotten it in the mists of time, but it made me howl back in the day...
Pia Zadora, yank actress, star of much esteemed movies such as "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and the like.
She also appeared on the stage, and courtesy of....erm....a close association with the show's producer, managed to get the lead roll in a play about Anne Frank.
You'll no doubt know the story. Hidden in Amsterdam from the Nazis, her diary documents her day-to-day life in those extraordinary and dreadful times.
The audience didn't like Ms.Zadora's performance. It was, not to put too fine a point on it, dire.
There came a scene when some German soldiers raided the building where Anne was hidden.
Having suffered enough, some wag in audience cupped his hands to his mouth, and bellowed "She's in the attic!"!
Edit : Or even "role"! Tsk, tsk.
It's supposedly true... I'd forgotten it in the mists of time, but it made me howl back in the day...
Pia Zadora, yank actress, star of much esteemed movies such as "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and the like.
She also appeared on the stage, and courtesy of....erm....a close association with the show's producer, managed to get the lead roll in a play about Anne Frank.
You'll no doubt know the story. Hidden in Amsterdam from the Nazis, her diary documents her day-to-day life in those extraordinary and dreadful times.
The audience didn't like Ms.Zadora's performance. It was, not to put too fine a point on it, dire.
There came a scene when some German soldiers raided the building where Anne was hidden.
Having suffered enough, some wag in audience cupped his hands to his mouth, and bellowed "She's in the attic!"!
Edit : Or even "role"! Tsk, tsk.
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Inspector
Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck!
Cozzer I got roped into going to the movie version of Jesus Christ Superstar. I don't like musicals. When Jesus came on screen my Catholic raised buddy stood up and yelled out. "I know how it ends. He's gonna die!"
Pete
Pete
Doug B
Shy Tot
Cozzer
Established Member
A few minutes ago. My wife, looking at the BBC News web site.
"Look at that! They've just rescued a dog under the rubble, 23 days after the earthquake! That's incredible, bless it!"
"Cor! I bet it's called Lucky!" I replied.
A momentary pause.
"No", she said, "It doesn't say..."
(And here's the story - )
Sometimes you should just give up.
"Look at that! They've just rescued a dog under the rubble, 23 days after the earthquake! That's incredible, bless it!"
"Cor! I bet it's called Lucky!" I replied.
A momentary pause.
"No", she said, "It doesn't say..."
(And here's the story - )
Sometimes you should just give up.
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Jaco
Established Member
Doug B
Shy Tot
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