Joke Thread II

[Doug B]

 

[Noel]

Thanks for trying @Noel , but it's still flying right over my head.

Isn’t it a bit early for that?
More likely Saturday night.
: )

 

[Thingybob]

Only if you remember all the words to the song! It's yonks since I heard it sung!

At least a year

 

[stuart little]

At least a year

--and more!

 

[Alex H]

 

[AES]

--and more!

Well here you are then folks (the choir that I'm a member of sung this - and other "junk"! - at a Xmas concert we gave for kids in need). (The relevant line is high-lighted for you). Anyone need the music?

 

[Myfordman]

100% genuine photo taken yesterday in the urology dept of my local hospital

 

[user 38384]

100% genuine photo taken yesterday in the urology dept of my local hospital
View attachment 149399

Mens department

 

[Thingybob]

Well here you are then folks (the choir that I'm a member of sung this - and other "junk"! - at a Xmas concert we gave for kids in need). (The relevant line is high-lighted for you). Anyone need the music?View attachment 149389

Must print off the intro bound to come up as a question at Christmas like name the seven dwarfs

 

[Thingybob]

Mens department

No there would of been plenty of seats down if it was

 

[flying haggis]

 

[J-G]

Must print off the intro bound to come up as a question at Christmas like name the seven dwarfs

The most interesting Quiz question is "which Reindeer was not in the original 'The Night Before Christmas' " ?

I'll tell you later - give you time to research (or guess)

 

[Pedronicus]

 

[Thingybob]

The most interesting Quiz question is "which Reindeer was not in the original 'The Night Before Christmas' " ?

I'll tell you later - give you time to research (or guess)

The answer is in the song "one foggy Christmas eve Santa came to call" so must be Rudolph

 

[J-G]

The answer is in the song "one foggy Christmas eve Santa came to call" so must be Rudolph

Don't quite understand your reasoning Thingybob but you are correct, even though the words you 'quote' are incorrect.

 

[Yojevol]

The most interesting Quiz question is "which Reindeer was not in the original 'The Night Before Christmas' " ?

I'll tell you later - give you time to research (or guess)

The original team came from warmer climes and therefore had dull noses. It was only when Santa arrived above the Arctic Circle and needed extra pulling power that he recruited a local where reindeer have shiny red noses.
Brian

 

[wurglesnash357]

And nobody even mentions Rudolph's second-in-command, Dimbo, the brown-nosed reindeer. He's just as fast as Rudolph but not quite so hot on the brakes.

 

[Jaco]

Accountants​

Take One
What is the difference between an accountant and a computer?

The computer has a personality.



Take Two

What is the difference between one sperm cell and an accountant?

The sperm cell has a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.



Take Three

Husband and wife accountants having a tiff.

She moans “You don’t depreciate me any more!”



Take Four

A lawyer and an accountant were involved in a minor fender bender. Neither was hurt, but both were pretty badly shaken up. As they wait for the police to arrive the lawyer pulls out a hip flask and passes it to the accountant who takes a big gulp to "steady his nerves". The accountant hands it back to the lawyer who caps it and puts it back in his pocket.
The accountant says "Hey, aren't YOU going to have one too?"
The lawyer replies ...

"Sure, right after the cops leave."



Take Five

What's the difference between a porcupine and an accountant in a BMW?

The porcupine has the prick on the outside!



Take Six

Two Auditors were walking across Hyde Park when one said, "Where did you get such a great racing bike?"
The second Auditor replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second Auditor nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

 

[Alex H]

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

View attachment 149418

Knowing our luck we would order the carb and wheels and get the sweaters and perfume.