Cozzer
Established Member
I notice the bloke's already got his testicles in a spring clamp....
Joke Thread 5
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I notice the bloke's already got his testicles in a spring clamp....
Robbo3
Established Member
An Ode to 'Fifty Shades of Grey' - A husband's point of view.
John Summers (not Pam Ayres)
The missus bought a Paperback
down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look in her bag;
...T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
...At ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down on the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said...
I must dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d muttered.
She stood there nude, naked like;
Bent forward just a bit ….
I thought oh well, what the hell,
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one!”
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.
John Summers (not Pam Ayres)
The missus bought a Paperback
down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look in her bag;
...T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
...At ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down on the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said...
I must dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d muttered.
She stood there nude, naked like;
Bent forward just a bit ….
I thought oh well, what the hell,
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one!”
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.
Doug B
Shy Tot
Doug B
Shy Tot
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
RobinBHM
Established Member
last night I date a date with Destiny
it was a bit disappointing because a 40 year old bloke called Des Tiny turned up
it was a bit disappointing because a 40 year old bloke called Des Tiny turned up
RobinBHM
Established Member
Ive been going out with a woman that is one of those "part time Vegans" you know the ones that eat meat sometimes.
Her name is Megan
Her name is Megan
Sachakins
The most wasted of days is one without woodwork
We now have multitudes of gender.
But still have a single human race.
We have so many variants, it's a disgrace.
But at the end of the day, to procreate,
We still need a keyhole and a key.
The right key in the wrong keyhole just makes a chocolate éclair.
It makes neither a he or her.....
But still have a single human race.
We have so many variants, it's a disgrace.
But at the end of the day, to procreate,
We still need a keyhole and a key.
The right key in the wrong keyhole just makes a chocolate éclair.
It makes neither a he or her.....
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