Joke Thread 5
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Jaco
Established Member
A young Digger in his new uniform walks into a seedy pub in Townsville. He sits at the bar and notices a grizzled old soldier with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili con carne.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young Digger bravely asks the old soldier 'If you aren't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'
The old veteran slowly turns his head toward the young pup and says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'
Eagerly, the young digger reaches over and slides the bowl into his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom of the bowl and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfed up the chili back into the bowl.
The old soldier quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young Digger bravely asks the old soldier 'If you aren't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'
The old veteran slowly turns his head toward the young pup and says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'
Eagerly, the young digger reaches over and slides the bowl into his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom of the bowl and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfed up the chili back into the bowl.
The old soldier quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
Doug B
Shy Tot
Jaco
Established Member
A bloke goes to the doctor's and asks to see someone about a problem with his manhood. The doctor is busy so he is ushered in to the practice nurse.
He's reluctant to strip down in font of her as he says he thinks she will laugh, but she assures him that she has been a nurse for more than 20 years and will view his problem dispassionately.
So the bloke drops his gear revealing something the size of a AA battery and the nurse falls about in hysterics. The chap's very angry but the nurse pulls herself together, wipes her eyes apologizing profusely and asks what the problem is.
"Problem!?" the bloke explodes. "Call yourself a health professional? Can't you see how swollen it is!?"
He's reluctant to strip down in font of her as he says he thinks she will laugh, but she assures him that she has been a nurse for more than 20 years and will view his problem dispassionately.
So the bloke drops his gear revealing something the size of a AA battery and the nurse falls about in hysterics. The chap's very angry but the nurse pulls herself together, wipes her eyes apologizing profusely and asks what the problem is.
"Problem!?" the bloke explodes. "Call yourself a health professional? Can't you see how swollen it is!?"
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