Joke Thread 5

[Hugh M.]

 

[treeturner123]

View attachment 191424

No joke but funny.

Some time ago on a program on radio about tattoos, a young lad said he didn't know what to have tattooed on his arm, so he had the word...



Tattoo tattooed!!

 

[Majimoto]

No joke but funny.

Some time ago on a program on radio about tattoos, a young lad said he didn't know what to have tattooed on his arm, so he had the word...



Tattoo tattooed!!

Friend of mine had " I love Sue" on his arm--- had a lot of explaining to his girlfriend Joan, that it was meant to be " I love Suet pudding".
But he ran out of arm or money-- I forget which.

 

[paulrbarnard]

Friend of mine had " I love Sue" on his arm--- had a lot of explaining to his girlfriend Joan, that it was meant to be " I love Suet pudding".
But he ran out of arm or money-- I forget which.

Reminds me of the two ladies discussing a mutual man friend who had a tattoo on his private parts. The first said did you know Bill has Ludo tattooed on his privates? The second said I think he likes me more because it says Llandudno when I’m looking at it.

 

[John Brown]

Reminds me of the two ladies discussing a mutual man friend who had a tattoo on his private parts. The first said did you know Bill has Ludo tattooed on his privates? The second said I think he likes me more because it says Llandudno when I’m looking at it.

Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day.

 

[SammyQ]

The other version of that joke, (P.T.Q. circum 1980) had:
First lady:" Little"
Second lady: "Little Rock Junior Chamber of Commerce...Executive Vice President".

 

[selectortone]

Speaking of tattoos, the Lidl I shop at is the posh one in my area - all the women have their tattoos spelled correctly.

 

[artie]

..

 

[Amateur]

Sometimes women just take advantage if you just happen to forget to lock your workshop up!

 

[Amateur]

When a farmer puts out a warning sign in Great Orton this evening.

 

[Stan]

A few years ago NASA sent a probe into deep space in an attempt to communicate with whatever life form was out there. Along with diagrams of mathematical formulae to show our intellectual capability, they included recordings of peace and good will in various languages. All the major languages were included.

One bright spark suggested that they cover a few of the smaller language groups, including a recording from one of the native American peoples. So they tracked down this ancient medicine man who spoke no English. Using the man's grandson as interpreter they explained what they wanted. The man gave a short impressive impassioned speech which none of them could understand. The grandson blushed and when asked to interpret, declined to do so. No matter... the speech was added to the recordings and sent off.

Some time later, a curious young NASA apprentice decided to find out what the message actually said. After some difficulty finding somebody willing to translate, he came up with:
"Watch out for these guys - they'll steal your land".

 

[Doug B]