Jaco
Established Member
Keep Taking the Medicine
Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did - the bottle
said 'keep tightly closed.'
Quick Diagnosis
Nurse: 'Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step.
What should I do?'
Doctor: 'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'
Eating Disorder
A mother complained to her
consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. 'All day long she lies in bed
and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?'
'Eventually,' said the
consultant, 'she will rise and shine
doctors. They cut it to size and made it look more human before sewing it, invisibly, in place.
Several weeks passed before Winston felt it necessary to return to his surgeons.
When he did, Winston complained bitterly, 'Doctor, I keep hearing this noise and its doing my head in. 'The
doctor, totally unconcerned answered, 'Don't worry, its just a bit of crackling.'
Doctors and Quacks
In Britain today, there are about 50,000 practitioners of alternative
medicine, but only about 30,000 qualified doctors.
Who Pays the Medical Bill?
Dan arrives at the private hospital in Mérida, Yucatán, Mexico and is rushed
in quickly for surgery after his appalling car crash.
The operation goes well and, as Dan regains consciousness, he is reassured by
a nun, Sister Mary, who is waiting by his bed.
Now, Dan, you're going to be just fine,' says the nun, gently patting his
hand. 'We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here.
Are you covered by insurance?'
'No, I'm not,' Dan whispers hoarsely.
...(vidFL2)
'Then are you able to pay in cash?' persists Sister Mary.
'I'm afraid I cannot, Sister,' say Dan regretfully.
'Well now, do you have any close relatives?' Sister Mary questions sternly
'Only my sister in Puerto Vallarta,' Dan volunteers, 'But she's a humble
spinster nun, like your good self.'
'Oh, I must correct you, Dan. Nuns are not spinsters: we are married to God.'
'Wonderful,' explodes Dan happily, 'In that case, please send the bill to my
brother-in-law.'
Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did - the bottle
said 'keep tightly closed.'
Quick Diagnosis
Nurse: 'Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step.
What should I do?'
Doctor: 'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'
Eating Disorder
A mother complained to her
consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. 'All day long she lies in bed
and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?'
'Eventually,' said the
consultant, 'she will rise and shine
Doctor Makes a Pig's Ear of Operation
Earlier this year Winston lost his ear. Luck would have it that it was replaced, with a pigs ear, bydoctors. They cut it to size and made it look more human before sewing it, invisibly, in place.
Several weeks passed before Winston felt it necessary to return to his surgeons.
When he did, Winston complained bitterly, 'Doctor, I keep hearing this noise and its doing my head in. 'The
doctor, totally unconcerned answered, 'Don't worry, its just a bit of crackling.'
Doctors and Quacks
In Britain today, there are about 50,000 practitioners of alternative
medicine, but only about 30,000 qualified doctors.
Who Pays the Medical Bill?
Dan arrives at the private hospital in Mérida, Yucatán, Mexico and is rushed
in quickly for surgery after his appalling car crash.
The operation goes well and, as Dan regains consciousness, he is reassured by
a nun, Sister Mary, who is waiting by his bed.
Now, Dan, you're going to be just fine,' says the nun, gently patting his
hand. 'We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here.
Are you covered by insurance?'
'No, I'm not,' Dan whispers hoarsely.
...(vidFL2)
'Then are you able to pay in cash?' persists Sister Mary.
'I'm afraid I cannot, Sister,' say Dan regretfully.
'Well now, do you have any close relatives?' Sister Mary questions sternly
'Only my sister in Puerto Vallarta,' Dan volunteers, 'But she's a humble
spinster nun, like your good self.'
'Oh, I must correct you, Dan. Nuns are not spinsters: we are married to God.'
'Wonderful,' explodes Dan happily, 'In that case, please send the bill to my
brother-in-law.'
