Joke Thread 4 (closed).
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llangatwgnedd
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bushwhaker
Established Member
Christopher Columbus was the first economist: crossing the Atlantic, he did not know where he was going; reaching the coast, he did not know where he was, and it was all done with public money.
Doug B
Shy Tot
stuart little
Established Member
I take this personally!
stuart little
Established Member
A recent visit to Brighton, on arrival l asked a lady for directions to my hotel, and she said it's only a stone's throw away.
I said will l recognize it?
She said -- it's the one with all the broken windows.
I said will l recognize it?
She said -- it's the one with all the broken windows.
artie
Sawdust manufacturer.
Stanleymonkey
Established Member
Looks very uncomfortable up there - did you bring a cushion?It's just a reminder that I am at the top of the pyramid.
Doug B
Shy Tot
woodhutt
Established Member
My wife said, "You never talk to me when we're making love."
I said, 'Well, I didn't want to wake you up."
I said, 'Well, I didn't want to wake you up."
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
RobinBHM
Established Member
Why don’t skeletons fight?
A = they don’t have the guts
A = they don’t have the guts
I said to my wife "can't you moan a little when we make love"
"She said when are you going to fix the crack in the ceiling"
"She said when are you going to fix the crack in the ceiling"
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
My friend is a decorator - he told me years ago one day a young lady with whom he was in delicto asked how much he'd charge her to paint her ceiling.
woodhutt
Established Member
I overheard two women in the street talking about me. They said I was a bit of a 'looker'.
Well, actually, the expression they used was 'peeping tom'...
Well, actually, the expression they used was 'peeping tom'...
Jaco
Established Member
During the seventies, quite a few southern immigrants took up resident in a rural farming district. They pooled their resources, farmed and did well. They were very appreciative of the opportunities that Australia had had given them and collectively decided to bring some southern European culture to their district. The decision was made to commission two sculptures, one a David and one of Venus.
The statues were placed in a local park and stood facing each other for many years. One evening, late, a good fairy was cruising by and noticed the two statues.
The good fairy stopped and asked if they would like to be human for a couple of hours, David, being a wild lad said, "yes please". With that David jumped down off the plinth and raced over to Venus and asked, "What do you reckon Venus how about some fun?", of course the desirable Venus agreed. With that they headed for the nearest shrub.
Soon there was gigling and sighing and they both re-appeared with a flushed satisfied look.
David had a quick at his seiko and saw they had half an hour left. He looked at Venus and said, "How about we do it one more time?". Venus excited by the prospect said, "yes please Davy, but how about we do it differently this time, you hold the pigeons and I will shyte on their heads."
The statues were placed in a local park and stood facing each other for many years. One evening, late, a good fairy was cruising by and noticed the two statues.
The good fairy stopped and asked if they would like to be human for a couple of hours, David, being a wild lad said, "yes please". With that David jumped down off the plinth and raced over to Venus and asked, "What do you reckon Venus how about some fun?", of course the desirable Venus agreed. With that they headed for the nearest shrub.
Soon there was gigling and sighing and they both re-appeared with a flushed satisfied look.
David had a quick at his seiko and saw they had half an hour left. He looked at Venus and said, "How about we do it one more time?". Venus excited by the prospect said, "yes please Davy, but how about we do it differently this time, you hold the pigeons and I will shyte on their heads."
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