Joke Thread 4 (closed).

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Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world.
He decided that a few disciples would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Three days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return.
Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: “Who is it?” “It’s Mark” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Mark?” “Marijuana from Colombia” “Very well son, come in.”

Another soft knock is heard. “Who is it?” “It’s Matthew” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Matthew?” “Cocaine from Mexico” “Very well son, come in.”

At the next knock Jesus asks, “Who is it?” “It’s John” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring John?” “Crystal meth from Los Angeles” “Very well son, come in.”

Someone starts pounding on the door. “Who is it?” “It’s Judas” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Judas?”

“Freeze! This is the FBI!”
 
Oh aye, what's 50p nowadays? Put it doqwn to a few weeks of frustrartion with BT trying,trying, trying to get my Tackage sorted, + a key board tkeeps missing lers, see awhat I mean!!!! :dunno: :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:🤡:unsure:☹️:cry::devilish: a load of :poop: . Going for a long lie down.
Got my keyboard sorted, I forgot it has batteries - DUH! Senior moment again! They lasted 4 years! As for the BT TV that's one foxtrot up after another, even their so called techie couldn't get it sorted. Instead of adding a new service, they've stopped what I had !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another rant over.:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::confused::confused:
 
A very old Dennis Norden joke
A village chief had to leave the village for a few days, but was concerned that while he was away someone would steal his throne, because whoever had the throne was deemed to be the chief.
He pondered where he could hide it and came up with a brilliant solution, he would build a false ceiling in his grass hut and hide it up there.
Satisfied no one would find it he left the village.
When he returned he rushed into the hut to see if his throne was still there.
He quickly slammed the door behind him, the ceiling collapsed, the throne fell on to his head and killed him

The moral of this story is People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Alan.
 
Got my keyboard sorted, I forgot it has batteries - DUH! Senior moment again! They lasted 4 years! As for the BT TV that's one foxtrot up after another, even their so called techie couldn't get it sorted. Instead of adding a new service, they've stopped what I had !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another rant over.:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::confused::confused:
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That's what it is, Just one big JOKE!
Hang in there Stuart - there's no show without Punch. :)

As Longfellow eloquently wrote:

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

https://www.yourdailypoem.com/listpoem.jsp?poem_id=147
If you don't have rain, you don't get flowers!

Hope you have a better weekend.

David.
 
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