Joke Thread 4 (closed).

[gwaithcoed]

Not really a joke but caused some laughter at our local supermarket.
I was with my wife grocery shopping some years ago and she was delving in a freezer.
" What are you looking for" I asked "
" A turkey Breast"
" You've got one in your hand"
"yes I know but I want a bigger one than this"
She then stood up holding it aloft and shouted to one of the assistants standing a few yards away
" Have you breasts bigger than this"
The assistant smiled, looked down and said
"Possibly, and mine are a hell of a lot warmer"
Alan

 

[llangatwgnedd]

 

[RobinBHM]

The other day I noticed a sheep pole dancing, I saw it through the window of a kebab shop

 

[martin45]

 

[martin45]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Daniel2]

 

[imageel]

Not really a joke but caused some laughter at our local supermarket.
I was with my wife grocery shopping some years ago and she was delving in a freezer.
" What are you looking for" I asked "
" A turkey Breast"
" You've got one in your hand"
"yes I know but I want a bigger one than this"
She then stood up holding it aloft and shouted to one of the assistants standing a few yards away
" Have you breasts bigger than this"
The assistant smiled, looked down and said
"Possibly, and mine are a hell of a lot warmer"
Alan

I remember years ago whilst on a long business trip in Alabama visiting one morning a local supermarket to get much needed supplies to curb the effects of a severe hangover, at the checkout as I handed over my payment the lady serving me gave me the customary 'Now y'all have a nice day!' in the local southern drawl.
As I collected my supplies I replied 'Thanks but I have other plans...'

 

[Junah]

Part of my job was doing jewellery valuations, I once asked a member of staff to put a sapphire and diamond ring into the ultrasonic before I looked at it, whilst waiting, I'm looking at the job card and it's described as a"Saffire and diamond ring" when they bring the ring to me, I said "There is no F in sapphire"
The reply was "Well it was there before I put it in the ultrasonic"

 

[RobinBHM]

I am Caucasian

My mothers from a city in Ireland and my dads Japanese

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

I am Caucasian

My mothers from a city in Ireland and my dads Japanese

Can't work out whether you are a Japlander or Ireanise.

 

[niemeyjt]

I think he is a Cork Asian

 

[RobinBHM]

.

 

[RobinBHM]

If only Trump had worn this cap for his speech yesterday:

 

[paulrbarnard]

Part of my job was doing jewellery valuations, I once asked a member of staff to put a sapphire and diamond ring into the ultrasonic before I looked at it, whilst waiting, I'm looking at the job card and it's described as a"Saffire and diamond ring" when they bring the ring to me, I said "There is no F in sapphire"
The reply was "Well it was there before I put it in the ultrasonic"

Sapphires can crack in an ultrasonic. Not too surprise there was no F’ in sapphire when you got it.

 

[Cordy]

My wife and I have started roll play in the bedroom.

Her favourite is sexy librarian.
Where I have to sit quietly whilst she reads her book.

 

[Doug B]

 

[Keith Cocker]

A woman gets in an elevator in Trump tower and Trump walks in and she pushes the stop button and she says to him “Oh Mr Trump, I’ve always had a huge crush on you and if you don’t mind, I’d like to give you a BJ right here”

To which he replied “Great! What’s in it for me?”

 

[Doug B]

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]