Five favourite quotes.

[niall Y]

William Blake - " If a fool persists in his folly, he will become wise"...

This has always struck me as being open to two different interpretations Either the fool eventually realises his folly and becomes wise, or, his folly is perceived as the new wisdom.

 

[TRITON]

"I'm not addicted to cocaine, I just like the way it smells"
Richard Pryor.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Rodney Marsh to Ian Botham in an Ashes match: “So how’s your wife and my kids?” Ian Botham’s reply – “The wife’s fine. The kids are ******** !”

re tards.

 

[MikeJhn]

Sign outside a pub "Free beer here tomorrow"

 

[DavidRa]

- Your darkest hour is only 60 minutes long
- Everything will be ok in the end, if it’s not ok it’s not the end.

 

[Doug B]

 

[Trainee neophyte]

Two that go together:

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent" - Hari Seldon, (Isaak Azimov, Foundation).

“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”​

― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices First Series

 

[Superduner]

Mr Churchill you are drunk.
Lady ****** you are ugly, but in the morning I will be sober.

Astor?

 

[Superduner]

As you get older never trust a fart, never miss the chance to have a pee and never waste an *rection

 

[graduate_owner]

As you get older never trust a fart, never miss the chance to have a pee and never waste an *rection

I first heard that from Billy Connolly. Made me smile. I don't know who the original author is though.

K

 

[Superduner]

I first heard that from Billy Connolly

Me too, but I don't suppose he reads this forum

 

[mudman]

Two that go together:

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent" - Hari Seldon, (Isaak Azimov, Foundation).

“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”​

― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices First Series

I hate to be pedantic but it was Salvor Hardin. Hari Seldon had been long dead by that point.

 

[mudman]

One in a million chances happen nine times out of ten - Terry Pratchett.

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. - Marcus Aurelius

 

[ElMister]

On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.”​

― Charles Babbage

 

[John Brown]

Astor?

And yet, was he sober in the morning? I believe he did drink a vast amount.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.”​

― Charles Babbage

Well, they were MPs.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

And yet, was he sober in the morning? I believe he did drink a vast amount.

Pol Roger in pint bottles, apparently.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).

T. Pratchett.

 

[Doug B]