Two cats are having a swimming race.
One is called ‘One two three’ the other is called ‘un deux trois’ - which cat won?
‘One two three’ because ‘Un deux trois’ cat sank.
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A police officer pulls a bloke over for speeding and
has the
following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended for
speeding.
Officer: May I see the registration for this
vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I
think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes mate. That's where I put it after I shot
and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.
Officer: There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?
Driver: Yes, mate.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his back up. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the inspector approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Inspector: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Inspector: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration
papers.
Inspector: Could you slowly open your glove box so I
can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Inspector: Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Boot is opened; no body.
Inspector: I don't understand it. The officer who
stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the boot.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying f**ker told you I was speeding, as well?